Any advice for first time parents expecting twins?
My husband and I recently found out we are expecting twins! We don’t yet know if they will be identical or fraternal, or even their genders. This was a complete happy surprise pregnancy, but we are feeling a bit overwhelmed- and terrified! Any advice would be greatly appreciated, perhaps something that surprised you or you wish you had known in advance?
We do know about the risks associated with having twins, I am asking this question assuming that everything will go well. Our fingers are crossed and I am doing everything I can to ensure these babies are healthy.
Congratulations!!!
I don’t think I have any great advice but can tell you the things that I got wrong when I had my twins 
-> twins usually arrive early.
I knew this but still wasn’t packed (or even had been shopping) when my water broke and since I stayed in hospital for a week I had to survive without a fitting bra and pads (milk leakage) and various other bits and bobs, so get packing early (my boys arrived 7 weeks early for example).
-> you will need help at first.
I thought I could do it all by myself but I found that I got exactly zero sleep because one baby was always awake and crying, ie with two you simply can’t do the "sleep with the baby" thing because they might never sleep simultaneously (I’m sure some do but mine certainly didn’t). So accept all help offered (or ask for it if nobody offers).
-> not all gadgets are actually useful.
You’d think with two babies you definitely need everything on offer but in fact you don’t, only buy the basics (cot, double pram, car seats, babygros, nappies, etc) and then wait and see what you actually need. We had lots of unused stuff to give away in the end, and instead bought completely different things we never thought of buying at first.
-> prepare to get the same remarks from strangers over and over
eg. "double trouble", "two for the price of one", "you have your hands full", "are they twins?" (especially annoying if yours look like two peas in a pod) The best one I had was "you’ve been greedy, haven’t you?"
Anyway, other useful stuff I found was:
- try and feed them together if you can manage, that will safe time.
- breast-feeding means you don’t have to worry about going out or sterilising etc since you will always have warm milk but it also means that it will always be you doing the feeding (I tried having my husband do the last feed at night with a bottle instead, that was quite successful).
- a smaller pram to be able to get through doors (eg the doctor’s office or some shops) would have been helpful but I only had the big side-by-side buggy until much later, in hindsight we probably should have simply bought two.
- I found an ear thermometer and this bulb thing to clear the nose very useful in case you come across those.
Anyway, that is all I can think of at the moment. I hope all goes well and I wish you the best of luck!
Filed under: Parenting Twins
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Congratulations!
I never want to be the party-pooper, but my advice would be to always remember that while twins are very exciting, they also come with much greater risks than singleton pregnancies. Low birth weights, birth defects, early labor, premature birth, etc are all things you need to be concerned about with multiples.
My first pregnancy was with twins, and we were SO excited. However, we learned at our 20-week ultrasound that one of the twins had amniotic banding syndrome which had caused severe birth defects and would not be able to survive outside the womb. In fact, this twin ended up dying around 24 weeks, which sent me into early labor, and they were only able to hold it off in the hospital for a week. I delivered one stillborn and one live at 25 weeks. In the end, our son only lived for 10 days in the NICU — he was just too little to make it.
While I don’t believe this will happen to you, it’s just something to remember — there are a LOT of risks that come with twins, and you need to make sure you’re mentally and emotionally prepared for whatever happens. Do your research and make sure you are aware of the risks so you don’t get blind-sided like we did.
Congrats, and I’m sure everything will turn out great for you!
References :
WOW Jill talk about a buzz kill. Even if Jill is right about doing your research having twins can be alot of work, and not everyone will have problems like Jill had, but she is right in the sense that anything is possible. Just remeber there are now 2 babies, so that means 2 of everything, 2 babies crying, laughing, pooping, playing. Good luck and Congrats.
References :
First off, CONGRATS!! I’m a twin mommy myself. My identical boys are almost 14 months. I remember that feeling of where you are. That overwhelming feeling. That lingering question, "how are we going to manage?" I get asked all the time "how do you do it?" Truthfully, you just do. It’s like your mothering instinct goes into overdrive to accommodate. I surprise myself some days. I never knew I had it in me. One of the best books out there in my opinion to prepare you and get you through is "Mothering Multiples" by Karen Gromada. Especially if you plan to breastfeed (yes, you can breastfeed two). The knowledge you will gain by reading this book will give you a great advantage. There are also several great web sites and communities that you can learn from. I’ll list some below. Good luck!! Having twins is a true blessing.
References :
http://www.karengromada.com
http://www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com/
http://www.twinslist.org/
http://forum.twinsmagazine.com/
http://www.gottwinz.net/forums/index.php
Sleep when they sleep! Trust me! You will go insane if you don’t get enough sleep for the first few weeks. When they go down for a nap, you do too!
References :
I don’t have twins, but there are a few things I wish I knew ahead of time.
If you’re breastfeeding, get Lansinoh. It’s good cream for keeping boobs feeling good. Plus, it cures diaper rash in a flash.
Get some colic reducing bottles, like Dr. Browns. Gassy bellies make mom and dad miserable.
If you’re bad at swaddling, get a swaddling blanket. They are super easy to use and really do help them sleep.
Never underestimate how many diapers you’ll need.
Baby poop is messy and not at all like the poop we’re familiar with 
And LAST and MOST important. Never underestimate how long it will take you to feel better after delivery. You’ll need help and you simply won’t be on your feet. If there are grandparents around, use them.
Oh how fun!!! Congrats and I hope you have a great preg and delivery!!! Babies are the best stuff in the world!
References :
Congratulations!!!
I don’t think I have any great advice but can tell you the things that I got wrong when I had my twins
-> twins usually arrive early.
I knew this but still wasn’t packed (or even had been shopping) when my water broke and since I stayed in hospital for a week I had to survive without a fitting bra and pads (milk leakage) and various other bits and bobs, so get packing early (my boys arrived 7 weeks early for example).
-> you will need help at first.
I thought I could do it all by myself but I found that I got exactly zero sleep because one baby was always awake and crying, ie with two you simply can’t do the "sleep with the baby" thing because they might never sleep simultaneously (I’m sure some do but mine certainly didn’t). So accept all help offered (or ask for it if nobody offers).
-> not all gadgets are actually useful.
You’d think with two babies you definitely need everything on offer but in fact you don’t, only buy the basics (cot, double pram, car seats, babygros, nappies, etc) and then wait and see what you actually need. We had lots of unused stuff to give away in the end, and instead bought completely different things we never thought of buying at first.
-> prepare to get the same remarks from strangers over and over
The best one I had was "you’ve been greedy, haven’t you?" 
eg. "double trouble", "two for the price of one", "you have your hands full", "are they twins?" (especially annoying if yours look like two peas in a pod)
Anyway, other useful stuff I found was:
- try and feed them together if you can manage, that will safe time.
- breast-feeding means you don’t have to worry about going out or sterilising etc since you will always have warm milk but it also means that it will always be you doing the feeding (I tried having my husband do the last feed at night with a bottle instead, that was quite successful).
- a smaller pram to be able to get through doors (eg the doctor’s office or some shops) would have been helpful but I only had the big side-by-side buggy until much later, in hindsight we probably should have simply bought two.
- I found an ear thermometer and this bulb thing to clear the nose very useful in case you come across those.
Anyway, that is all I can think of at the moment. I hope all goes well and I wish you the best of luck!
References :