My husband is devastated that he was not told of these children. He missed their childhood & his parents died without ever knowing he was a father since we were unable to have any. Now he wants to know them and do what we can, but money is tight & I am scared we could be hit for not 18, but 36 yrs of support. That would be financial ruin so close to retirement. She lived in Ill. & we in La.
The woman was married at the time and was married all during their childhood.

Contact an attorney. Do your research with your attorney, but don’t bring up the issue with the ex.

If she never pursued it, the ex may be completely uninterested in back child support payments. Why did the ex suddenly let him know that they existed?

I did find something that says that the courts generally do not make someone pay more than 4 years of retroactive child support. Not great, but a lot better than 18 years for 2 children.

http://www.lanwt.org/txaccess/BACKUPCHILDSUPPORT.asp

EDIT: GOOD NEWS!!! If she was married at the time, then her husband is the twins’ legal father, regardless of biology. It’s doubtful that a judge would award retroactive child support 24 years after the fact in a case like this.

To help put things in perspective. Let’s say it is 20 years ago and she divorced her husband. During the divorce proceedings, her husband contested his paternity. It doesn’t matter. Under the law, the husband is the children’s father and he would be required to pay child support.

It’s important that you still contact an attorney and find out your rights and obligations before your husband try to develop a relationship with them. Although if they are coming out of the woodwork 24 years after the fact, I still question the mother’s motives for revealing this and wonder if they are biologically your husband’s.

i am pregnant with twins, and i just want tips on parenting them. one is a boy and the other is a girl. they are my first kids, and i don’t really have much knowledge on kids. i am only 16. my boyfriend, their father, and i really need help! we want tips on what to expect through the baby years all the way through the teenage years. any tips are greatfully accepted. thanks!

Take a parenting class.

i am a twin (fraternal) and i wanted to know what are my chances of having twins when i’m ready for children? what are the chances my brother will have twins? can it be either or? can we both of our wives give birth to twins?

Twins do run in the family. However they are only passed on through the female side. the (egg)Therefore, your wife’s family would have to have a history of twins.

iv been kinda arguing with people since the 3rd grade that im not gay (im a junior in high school now)
and Iv known that im gay for 3 years now, and havnt really done anything about it, I now rarely ever get asked if im gay or not, but I know people still talk. so how should I come out?
(I have a twin brother too who is prolly the straightest guy you will ever meet, and I do not want to put stress and awkward positions for him)
oh and also, my parents support gay people, but they seem homophobic. I just feel like once I move away is the only chance I can be myself, but I want somewhat experience before I move away

ya know, they know all ready.
If they’re talkin. they know.
If you’re parents are outwardly saying they support gay rights. They know.
you’re what.. 16? 17? I dunno what a junior is these days.
Just continue being.
When you meet someone. just continue doing. You’ll all talk when you need too. I dont believe theres a time limit to when you should come out.
I mean.. aren’t you really already out? If they already know?

I want to know who is responsible for twins birth. Male or female for both identical and non-identical. My parents side no one has twins and from my wife her father side has twins. Can i expect twins?, may be identical or non-identical. Egg is responsible for identical twins or male sperm is responsible.

Identical twins are not determined by genetics.Identical twins are developed by one age splitting in to 2 embryos.Biological twins are developed from 2 ages being fertilized at the same time.If your wife cerise this gene,then you have a 50/50 chance of having or not having twins.Your genes would determine if you dodder was to have twins.

Ok so my great grandparents had 2 sets of twins and 1 set of triplets. My sister is now pregnant with twins. What are my odds of having twins when im older?

It depends on whether their on the paternal or maternal side. There were 7 sets of twins on my mums side, and one set on my dad’s. All were indentical, and I have non identical twins.

Its something you’d have to speak to your gp about.

Hiii
My boyfriend dumped the night after the twins were conceived …
Im now 16 weeks and 3 days along
And ive a bit of a bump and everything
Im only 14 but i dont care it was a mistake made but i will still love and care for my babies as if they were planned forever …
But he just doesnt care after 3 weeks of nasty prank calls from him and his mates
Walking where they all hang around being called a slag and a slut
He had finally said ok ill talk for an hour
I was ECSTATIC and we did talk
Well more i talked he sat there and went OK every second
But when i brought out the scan he sat there and said they arent mine
And i said i have never had sex with anyone but you ….
So how arent the babies yours ?
And he said i dont know they just arent …
And got up and walked out to all his mates and said its twins lads
And i just sat there in the cafe and got up because i knew i was going to burst into tears
And i walked over to him wiped away my tears and endured his mates slegging me of for being pregnant and for the whole situation with my family etc….
I just said the babies are yours and thats up to you believe or not but i for one do believe they are yours as i know who ive had sex with and who i havent …
Im ready to get a DNA test when the babies are born if you want one
But im not paying for it you can …
Heres a copy of the scan… Bye
And he just stood there holding the scan … and then he dropped it
And his mate who ive always liked (as a friend) but have been accused of cheating with him by my ex …
He just picked it up and said look darlin ill take the scan to him, good luck
And i was like thank you
But now im confused .. because im alone, pregnant with twins, with no friends as they have all ditched me to go out and get drunk alot and have a laugh which i dont think is wrong in the slightest but ive supported them through their breakups, my best friends parents divorce, their family members deaths
I didnt go to dance nation or akon because my best friends brother died i stayed with her the whole night
If im to be honest i feel betrayed

And hes messing about with his friends having a laugh and a drink and im trying to find a job under 16 to pay for these babies
Im overwhelmed …
Please can somebody give me some advice im stuck in such an awkward and confusing situation …
Thank you so much in advance
XoXoXoXo

Wow your having a pretty hard time, I’m so sorry.

I was 16 when I had my first baby and all my friends did the same, my partner stood by me though until 4 months after the baby was born and he left me to be with his other pregnant girlfriend which I knew nothing about. He then rejected my baby and demanded a DNA test and I agreed knowing full well he was my babies Daddy and now he’s dissapeared off the face of the earth and I haven’t a clue where he is.

Once your babies are born you’ll make new friends, even now whilst your pregnant there are baby groups specifically for teens and you’ll find your not the only person who’s 14 and pregnant and you’ll meet other mums to be in the same situation as you and feeling just as scared as you. You’ll have more in common with these people and they could be your new friends. Atleast you know having other mother to be friends mean your on the same maturity level and you and your friend(s) will have one thing in common- the safety of your babies.

As for your boyfriend, get a DNA test when your babies are born, get his parents or himself to pay for it. Then if he’s still not willing to accept the babies as his own then its his loss, not yours.

One day he will grow up.

You need to stop thinking about everyone else, think about yourself and your babies. Have a night in with your mum or someone, get some face packs and nail varnish and make yourself feel good!! Take a nice relaxing bath and turn off from the whole world, look through catalogues and speak babies! Do something like this every once in a while to keep you feeling good about yourself.

As for your friends that are leaving you all the time to get drunk, they wont stay your friends forever i realised that when my son was born, I only have one friend from back when I was in school and I dont even see her that much, maybe 4-5 times a year.

Just think when your little babies are born your gonna be too wrapped up with your twins to even think about what your friends are doing and your gonna be so much in love with your babies your not even gonna care!! but for the pregnancy just take time out to relax!!

xx Hope I helped xx

I’m an only child, and it’s really lonely. I’m envious of people with an identical twin brother (I’m a guy), and people with brothers close to their age.

Do identical twins always play together as children? Do twins play with each other more than with older or younger siblings?

Also, does having a brother close to your own age, but not a twin mean that you always have playmate as a child?

Please be as detailed as possible in your explanation.

I think it depends on the personalities of the twins. There were identical twin sisters in my sister’s class at school and they hated each other. They never got along at all. I suppose that’s not the case with all twins, but usually the closer in age siblings are, the less they get along and nobody is closer in age then twins …

I have been with my current family, who have 7 year old twins, for two years. I am generally happy with my job, I love the kids and get along fine with the parents. However, for a while now I have felt taken advantage of and am not sure how to handle it. Obviously I started when the kids were 5 and in kindergarten and my job was to play with them and keep them happy and safe. I also come several hours before school is out to do laundry, straighten up the house and run errands. As they have gotten older my responsibilities have increased, including helping them with their hefty load of homework and getting them to their various activities and of course acting as a parent during the time I am with them. They are an extremely busy family and it can be very stressful to handle all the things I have to do in the time I am there. I tend to doubt myself with many things but I am confident that I do a very thorough job and make their lives easier. I feel I go above and beyond, doing things that I am not asked to do and that have now become the norm.
So, to get to the point, after two years I feel very unappreciated for all I do. The parents own a very successful business, work hard, and they have a lot to show for it. However, I have not been given a raise during this time. I work part time and I have no benefits at all, including no sick days or time off. In the two years I have been with them, I have called out 4 or 5 days tops, and only when I was very ill. Last week I worked with a very bad cold (which I caught from them) and an ear infection. I was told that day that they would be having an event at the house that night and I just needed to "help out" and keep an eye on the kids while there was a presentation for the summer camp they go to and which the parents support. The kids would be mingling and learning about the camp. I was told this would be about 45 minutes at the very most. Well, like most times, this was an understatement, and I ended up entertaining and watching 6 of the children attending (including a 2 year old and a 4 year old) plus my two for over two hours. There was no prior notice or asking if that would be ok with me, and no extra pay. I was VERY upset about that and came home angry and it has been bothering me all weekend and kept me up tonight because I am dreading even going to work tomorrow and putting on my happy face.
I frequently help them out at the last minute, even canceling appointments so I can be there for them. When they tell me what time they will be home, they routinely come home 1-2 hours after that, so often that I normally just expect to stay until at least that time. I have stayed overnight on many occasions (with notice), sometimes for 2-3 days at a time.
So that is the situation in a nutshell. I know this post is long but I wanted to give a thorough explanation of what I am asking about.
Here are my questions:
1. I started at $12/hr (this is an affluent area outside a large city) and as I said this has not increased. Considering the family’s situation and the time I have been there, what should I expect to be paid now after two years?
2. I am only given $35 dollars for an overnight (paid till 9pm and not again until 6am). I think this is ridiculous, even insulting. I know for a fact that their backup person who was the children’s night nurse as babies is paid $25/hr for the entire time she is there. What is a FAIR price for an overnight? I feel that I should be paid hourly. I would much rather be at home and why should I get paid less for being there longer?
3. How do I bring all my frustrations up? I know I need to talk to them about how I feel and what I would like to be paid but I have never done this before and get extremely nervous even thinking about it but I am so unhappy and it gets worse everyday. Like I said, after the incident last week I am dreading just going today and having to see them because I am so mad.
4. Kind of rhetorical, but shouldn’t they want to keep me happy? They completely depend on me and they would be sh*t out of luck if I quit. It would be extremely difficult to find someone as flexible as I am, who is so willing to help, and who they can trust.

Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate it. Please only answer if you have something constructive to say. Again, I am sorry this was so long but I really need advice and wanted to give an accurate picture of the whole situation. I really am counting on the good advice I know you guys have - parents and other nannies both.

Thanks again.
You all have been SO helpful and supportive. I appreciate you taking the time to help me. Please keep the advice coming!!!! And in regards to one of the posts, I do work "under the table".

Hi,
You haven’t said what country you are in, but if you are in the US, you should be receiving a W-2 and they should be paying your FICA (social security tax) so you can start to get credit for your 40 quarters. If they haven’t, then you have pretty good leverage for seeking a lawyer, you probably don’t need to resort to that, but you may desire that path. If you don’t have the W2 relationship, then you aren’t officially legally hired as their employee. There is an exception, do you receive a 1099 each year (are you hired as a contractor)? If you are a contractor then its a different story and you would be expected to pay the FICA and self employment tax yourself and would be expected to negotiate your raises yourself.
Again assuming the US:
If you are on the w2 relationship it should be fairly easy to talk them into giving you a raise.
If you have neither the contractor nor the W2 relationship, then they have hired you illegally and you have a lot of leverage you can pull. Get documentation (make copies) of evidence you have that shows you have been working for them from the beginning until now. Get things that show they have been paying you for service to their family. The intent is to show they failed to pay their taxes to the government. You should be able to pretty much ask for that raise. However I would get your parents involved first and/or seek legal representation in case they try to fire you.

It probably started out as something casual, but its obviously gotten more professional. And I imagine the children are very much attached to you. You don’t want to hurt the children and I doubt they want to either.

Chances are you won’t need a lawyer. Chances are if you just go and talk to them they will give you a raise, but its time you got your duties in writing and work out a plan where you get benefits and a structure with raise potential.

An advantage to working legally is you will have a legal defense. currently since you are "under the table", they can get away with underpaying you and you don’t have a lot of say in the matter. Additionally if you were getting a W2, the sooner you had 40 quarters, the sooner you would be legally able to receive full SSI benefits should you become disabled or unable to work. Currently you have no such benefits. it might not seem like much now, but every little bit helps.

I am soon to be a mother of twins every time i tell someone that ,there like "oh get ready not to sleep in 3 years " or well thing that i think they say just to scare me ..how is it really ?

Well I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s not hard because it is. It’s not exactly double the work but it just feels like it sometimes. However, it’s double the benefit, double the joy and double the fun. I have 8 month old twins and I have a few things that may help:

1) Establish a routine as soon as you can. You don’t have to stick to it strictly but it makes you feel more in control and it will help if someone else is going to look after them.
2) Whenever your partner is in, let him do the work. Accept any help when it’s offered - it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother in any way no matter what others say.
3) You’re going to have to accept that the house will always be untidy and there are going to be things you "should" be doing but you need to have "me time".

And if you ever need to complain, moan or need some help, feel free to email me. =]