Comments on: My boyfriend doesnt care about my unborn twins ?!? http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/ Celebrating All Things Related to Parenting Twins Sat, 19 May 2012 19:06:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Katrina K http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3335 Katrina K Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:33:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3335 Wow your having a pretty hard time, I'm so sorry. I was 16 when I had my first baby and all my friends did the same, my partner stood by me though until 4 months after the baby was born and he left me to be with his other pregnant girlfriend which I knew nothing about. He then rejected my baby and demanded a DNA test and I agreed knowing full well he was my babies Daddy and now he's dissapeared off the face of the earth and I haven't a clue where he is. Once your babies are born you'll make new friends, even now whilst your pregnant there are baby groups specifically for teens and you'll find your not the only person who's 14 and pregnant and you'll meet other mums to be in the same situation as you and feeling just as scared as you. You'll have more in common with these people and they could be your new friends. Atleast you know having other mother to be friends mean your on the same maturity level and you and your friend(s) will have one thing in common- the safety of your babies. As for your boyfriend, get a DNA test when your babies are born, get his parents or himself to pay for it. Then if he's still not willing to accept the babies as his own then its his loss, not yours. One day he will grow up. You need to stop thinking about everyone else, think about yourself and your babies. Have a night in with your mum or someone, get some face packs and nail varnish and make yourself feel good!! Take a nice relaxing bath and turn off from the whole world, look through catalogues and speak babies! Do something like this every once in a while to keep you feeling good about yourself. As for your friends that are leaving you all the time to get drunk, they wont stay your friends forever i realised that when my son was born, I only have one friend from back when I was in school and I dont even see her that much, maybe 4-5 times a year. Just think when your little babies are born your gonna be too wrapped up with your twins to even think about what your friends are doing and your gonna be so much in love with your babies your not even gonna care!! but for the pregnancy just take time out to relax!! xx Hope I helped xx<br><b>References : </b><br>Teen mum Myself to 2 baby boys!! eldest 2 and youngest 7 months! I'm 19 xx Wow your having a pretty hard time, I’m so sorry.

I was 16 when I had my first baby and all my friends did the same, my partner stood by me though until 4 months after the baby was born and he left me to be with his other pregnant girlfriend which I knew nothing about. He then rejected my baby and demanded a DNA test and I agreed knowing full well he was my babies Daddy and now he’s dissapeared off the face of the earth and I haven’t a clue where he is.

Once your babies are born you’ll make new friends, even now whilst your pregnant there are baby groups specifically for teens and you’ll find your not the only person who’s 14 and pregnant and you’ll meet other mums to be in the same situation as you and feeling just as scared as you. You’ll have more in common with these people and they could be your new friends. Atleast you know having other mother to be friends mean your on the same maturity level and you and your friend(s) will have one thing in common- the safety of your babies.

As for your boyfriend, get a DNA test when your babies are born, get his parents or himself to pay for it. Then if he’s still not willing to accept the babies as his own then its his loss, not yours.

One day he will grow up.

You need to stop thinking about everyone else, think about yourself and your babies. Have a night in with your mum or someone, get some face packs and nail varnish and make yourself feel good!! Take a nice relaxing bath and turn off from the whole world, look through catalogues and speak babies! Do something like this every once in a while to keep you feeling good about yourself.

As for your friends that are leaving you all the time to get drunk, they wont stay your friends forever i realised that when my son was born, I only have one friend from back when I was in school and I dont even see her that much, maybe 4-5 times a year.

Just think when your little babies are born your gonna be too wrapped up with your twins to even think about what your friends are doing and your gonna be so much in love with your babies your not even gonna care!! but for the pregnancy just take time out to relax!!

xx Hope I helped xx
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Teen mum Myself to 2 baby boys!! eldest 2 and youngest 7 months! I’m 19 xx

]]> By: my 2 girls were born 1/5/09 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3334 my 2 girls were born 1/5/09 Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:18:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3334 hey im not going to lie to you bringing up twins with support can be very hard work but at the same time so rewarding and i really hope you have support from your parents. i dont really know what advice i can give you but if you just want to chat im 19 and have 11 week old twin girls or you could visit http://doubletroubleuk.webs.com/ hope this elps in some way<br><b>References : </b><br> hey im not going to lie to you bringing up twins with support can be very hard work but at the same time so rewarding and i really hope you have support from your parents. i dont really know what advice i can give you but if you just want to chat im 19 and have 11 week old twin girls or you could visit http://doubletroubleuk.webs.com/ hope this elps in some way
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]]> By: ♥ѕαяαн♥ http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3333 ♥ѕαяαн♥ Sat, 26 Sep 2009 11:41:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3333 i would stay clear of him. he doesn't sound likes he's going to be even moderately useful to you and the babies in any shape or form. he's very much still a child. it sounds like you are taking full responsibility and well done for that. it's all you can do. i am sorry you had to endure his and his friend's bullying, it's completely not on. he's using the 'they're not mine' excuse as a cop out. just take all the support you need from your family. with your age and the pregnancy it's going to be very hard finding work. it's hard enough for some women to be up on their feet just carrying one baby, imagine what it's going to be like with two? now you also know what type of 'friends' they are. when you were there for them and you even missed an important gig, which alot of 14 year olds wouldn't do, they won't even return the favour. you deserve real friends, not ones who are just going to all turn on you and walk away when the going gets tough.<br><b>References : </b><br> i would stay clear of him. he doesn’t sound likes he’s going to be even moderately useful to you and the babies in any shape or form. he’s very much still a child.

it sounds like you are taking full responsibility and well done for that. it’s all you can do.

i am sorry you had to endure his and his friend’s bullying, it’s completely not on.

he’s using the ‘they’re not mine’ excuse as a cop out.

just take all the support you need from your family. with your age and the pregnancy it’s going to be very hard finding work. it’s hard enough for some women to be up on their feet just carrying one baby, imagine what it’s going to be like with two?

now you also know what type of ‘friends’ they are. when you were there for them and you even missed an important gig, which alot of 14 year olds wouldn’t do, they won’t even return the favour.

you deserve real friends, not ones who are just going to all turn on you and walk away when the going gets tough.
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]]> By: Susan http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3332 Susan Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:59:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3332 Gob bless you! You sound very mature for someone so young. I guess no one told you that guys can be jerks! It could be that he just isn't as grown up as you are. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this, especially at such a young age. There really isn't much you can do to make him be part of your or the babies lives. It's his lose! If you are going to keep them then make sure you do DNA testing to prove they are his and he will be court ordered to pay child support, although I'm not sure about the legalities about him being so young (maybe his parents will have to pay?). As far as your friends, most of them are still young and they aren't sure how to deal with this situation. Try looking for a Teen Mother's group, my 17 yr old is also pregnant with twins and we found a great support group called Destiny's Door. She'll be making friends with girls around her age going through the same issues. Good luck. I wish you and your children the best life can bring.<br><b>References : </b><br> Gob bless you! You sound very mature for someone so young. I guess no one told you that guys can be jerks! It could be that he just isn’t as grown up as you are. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this, especially at such a young age. There really isn’t much you can do to make him be part of your or the babies lives. It’s his lose! If you are going to keep them then make sure you do DNA testing to prove they are his and he will be court ordered to pay child support, although I’m not sure about the legalities about him being so young (maybe his parents will have to pay?). As far as your friends, most of them are still young and they aren’t sure how to deal with this situation. Try looking for a Teen Mother’s group, my 17 yr old is also pregnant with twins and we found a great support group called Destiny’s Door. She’ll be making friends with girls around her age going through the same issues. Good luck. I wish you and your children the best life can bring.
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]]> By: Carilyn http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3331 Carilyn Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:09:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3331 i'm fourteen and pregnant with twins. 20 weeks now, having twin girls. my boyfriend stuck with me the whole time. but if your ain't gonna, then you need to be strong. does your family know? and is there anyone there to help? i'll help you out online if you would like. i know it's so hard!<br><b>References : </b><br> i’m fourteen and pregnant with twins. 20 weeks now, having twin girls. my boyfriend stuck with me the whole time. but if your ain’t gonna, then you need to be strong. does your family know? and is there anyone there to help? i’ll help you out online if you would like. i know it’s so hard!
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]]> By: Marleen M http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3330 Marleen M Sat, 26 Sep 2009 09:21:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3330 my god, i feel true sympathy for you, but even though you are young you are acting like a grown women by having your two lovely babies. i will not deny that it will be difficult at first but from what i read you seem to be a very strong person and i'm sure you will cope. realising that your boyfriend is going to be a dad is still a shock to him and obviously he hasn't gotten his head around that yet, but don't dispair just yet, once the babies are born and he sees them he will most likely fall in love with them and be there for them. please understand that he may not necessarily get back with you but you have your whole life ahead of you to find a man who will love both you and your babies, and believe it or not there are in fact plenty of blokes out there who are more than willing to take on someone elses cildren because they love their mother so much. my stepdad is one example, he married my mum even though she had 3 kids already and he has been a great dad to me and my siblings, and my sister married a man and he took on her daughter from a previous relationship and she calls him daddy, because he is the only dad she's ever known. they have had two children of teir own now but he doesn't treat his own flesh any better or worse than his stepdaughter. so please, try not to worry about your ex boyfriend. concentrate on yourself and your unborn babies. that's what is really important.<br><b>References : </b><br> my god, i feel true sympathy for you, but even though you are young you are acting like a grown women by having your two lovely babies. i will not deny that it will be difficult at first but from what i read you seem to be a very strong person and i’m sure you will cope. realising that your boyfriend is going to be a dad is still a shock to him and obviously he hasn’t gotten his head around that yet, but don’t dispair just yet, once the babies are born and he sees them he will most likely fall in love with them and be there for them. please understand that he may not necessarily get back with you but you have your whole life ahead of you to find a man who will love both you and your babies, and believe it or not there are in fact plenty of blokes out there who are more than willing to take on someone elses cildren because they love their mother so much. my stepdad is one example, he married my mum even though she had 3 kids already and he has been a great dad to me and my siblings, and my sister married a man and he took on her daughter from a previous relationship and she calls him daddy, because he is the only dad she’s ever known. they have had two children of teir own now but he doesn’t treat his own flesh any better or worse than his stepdaughter.
so please, try not to worry about your ex boyfriend. concentrate on yourself and your unborn babies. that’s what is really important.
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]]> By: * Princess Aimee's Mummy * http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3329 * Princess Aimee's Mummy * Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:58:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3329 firstly i wanted to say i am very proud of you for handling this so well it must be really hard on you being so young and having twins aswell, youre doing the right thing by trying to get a job and make something better of your life to provide for your babies. mistakes happen but sometimes they make us stronger and they will be worth every step you take. as for the father he is still a little boy, kids your age arent mature and responsible enough to raise children and the thought probably scares him, he doesnt know how he should act and he is leaving the responsiblity to you which is wrong. the fact he is denying being the father is worse especially if he knows he is. just ignore him from now on, concentreate on your life and giving your babies the best hell soon come running when he finds out they are definately his and hell want to be a part of their life. if not then you or the babies dont need him youll be fine without him, you can get money from him from the csa and hell have to get a job, he cant run away forever and itll be him having to explain to your babies when they are older why he didnt stick around. im sure things will work out just give him time and get the support from your family it will be hard but it will get easier over time. as for your friends they are just acting their age and being kids they dont understand themselves, and if they arent supporting you when you supported them then they arent real friends anyway ditch them and find new ones maybe join groups of young mums so you have something in common. good luck.<br><b>References : </b><br> firstly i wanted to say i am very proud of you for handling this so well it must be really hard on you being so young and having twins aswell, youre doing the right thing by trying to get a job and make something better of your life to provide for your babies. mistakes happen but sometimes they make us stronger and they will be worth every step you take. as for the father he is still a little boy, kids your age arent mature and responsible enough to raise children and the thought probably scares him, he doesnt know how he should act and he is leaving the responsiblity to you which is wrong. the fact he is denying being the father is worse especially if he knows he is. just ignore him from now on, concentreate on your life and giving your babies the best hell soon come running when he finds out they are definately his and hell want to be a part of their life. if not then you or the babies dont need him youll be fine without him, you can get money from him from the csa and hell have to get a job, he cant run away forever and itll be him having to explain to your babies when they are older why he didnt stick around. im sure things will work out just give him time and get the support from your family it will be hard but it will get easier over time. as for your friends they are just acting their age and being kids they dont understand themselves, and if they arent supporting you when you supported them then they arent real friends anyway ditch them and find new ones maybe join groups of young mums so you have something in common. good luck.
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]]> By: Anna B http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3328 Anna B Sat, 26 Sep 2009 08:33:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3328 Please look into public health services to assist you with your labor and care of the twins. They may also be able to give you free counseling to help you deal with the rejection you feel. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and will make it through this difficult time. As for your boyfriend and friends who left you, now you know what kind of people they actually are. It may hurt, but you now know who is really worth your friendship. Good luck to you. In the end you will be wiser and stronger and they will still be immature and selfish.<br><b>References : </b><br> Please look into public health services to assist you with your labor and care of the twins. They may also be able to give you free counseling to help you deal with the rejection you feel. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and will make it through this difficult time. As for your boyfriend and friends who left you, now you know what kind of people they actually are. It may hurt, but you now know who is really worth your friendship. Good luck to you. In the end you will be wiser and stronger and they will still be immature and selfish.
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]]> By: staff6 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3327 staff6 Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:58:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3327 first of all dump him i mean really dump him if he comes near your house call the cops and let them know of the situation they will have there eye on him as a dirt bag and this will protect you if he harasses you again and let im know life will continue with out him and you keep up the role of motherhood these kids are counting on you and remember if he don't love your kids then he don't love you and that goes for any man.................good luck<br><b>References : </b><br> first of all dump him i mean really dump him if he comes near your house call the cops and let them know of the situation they will have there eye on him as a dirt bag and this will protect you if he harasses you again and let im know life will continue with out him and you keep up the role of motherhood these kids are counting on you and remember if he don’t love your kids then he don’t love you and that goes for any man……………..good luck
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]]> By: tomzakeng http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/comment-page-1/#comment-3326 tomzakeng Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:13:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/09/my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-my-unborn-twins/#comment-3326 You have given him the chance to be part of it. I would keep clear of him. You have to concentrate on you children now. He may come round later but if he is your age then boys tend to mature slower than girls. He is still a boy you may have to wait till he grows up a little. Your friends aren't going to be much help either as they are still children. It would be unfair to expect them to be able to help with a situation like this. Go and talk to social services. The children must come first (you must look after your self as well!!).<br><b>References : </b><br> You have given him the chance to be part of it. I would keep clear of him. You have to concentrate on you children now. He may come round later but if he is your age then boys tend to mature slower than girls. He is still a boy you may have to wait till he grows up a little. Your friends aren’t going to be much help either as they are still children. It would be unfair to expect them to be able to help with a situation like this. Go and talk to social services. The children must come first (you must look after your self as well!!).
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