Congratulations on your style of writing and how well you articulate your sentences. I have taken the liberty to correct some errors, very few.

Corrections: (hence the reason why many of the student at my school) change to students at my school

(these two seven teen year olds,) seventeen - all one word.

(he listens and gives surprisingly well advice for a man to give.)
You need to revise this sentence because it doesn’t flow - grammar structure.

(More like pure evil. The n) This is where your letter ended, so I can’t comment on it.

Try to make a double space between paragraphs.

I believe that you have a vivid imagination and will make a great ‘creative writer’, so wish you every success.
References :
Parent, Teacher & Mentor.