My husband recently found out hat he has 3 year old twins by his ex . We have been married for about a year and 1/2 and everything has been pretty perfect until his ex showed up and told him that he has 2 kids.This woman isn’t just a random ex-girlfriend either. They were in a five year relationship and engaged, they grew up together, their parents were friends, she was close with his family and he wanted to marry her. She left him a few weeks after they became engaged. She left him a note and moved to a different city a few weeks later…that’s how she ended a 5 year relationship. What he didn’t tell me until know was that he went to go see her a few months later which resulted in a one night stand..which resulted in her becoming pregnant..which she conveniently forgot to tell him about.

I can’t really be upset by any of this as it all happened before we even met, but it all seems so surreal. My husband has two beautiful children by another woman who he was in love with for years, whom he probably be married to right now had she not have left him

I don’t know what to make of the woman. She’s quiet and polite which wasn’t what I expected. Why would she tell him about the children 3 years later? She had 3 years + 9 months while she was pregnant. She’s an attorney and has a job where I’m sure she earns around 6 figures, so she doesn’t need his support financially. She’s beautiful and could probably have any man she wanted. My mother in law and her mother are close and the woman’s own mother didn’t even know she had kids. I figure there has to be something seriously wrong with a woman who would walk out on her fiance and a five year relationship, not tell him they had children together and not even tell her own mother that she has 2 kids. I pointed this out to my husband who jumped into full on protective mode and automatically started to defend her. Saying that she had a rough childhood, her father was abusive, she has trust issues.

It’s odd watching him with the kids. He met them at the park and they looked like a perfect little family. Both of them the boy and girl look just like him. I think he still has feelings for her. I can see the way he looks at her. It doesn’t help that she’s recently moved back here and is adamant about him being a part of their lives. My husbands family seems to adore her and the kids even after everything that has happened..the kids I can understand, but her I can’t. My husband won’t talk much about it which is what bothers me because we usually talk about everything, but he’s been talking a lot with her. He seems to be lost in his own thoughts lately. I don’t know what to do. Is there anything I CAN do? I love him and I don’t want to lose him.

I honestly have no advice for you but I feel terrible for you.. this is going to be a steep hill to climb though. All you can do for him is be supportive and understanding. But don’t let your guard down, his ex may have finally told him about the kids because she has her own plan. I hope this isn’t the case but just in case keep your eyes and ears open.

Good luck to you.

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Filed under: Parents of Twins Support

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