Comments on: My husband found out he has 3 year old twins. Is he still in love with her? http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/ Celebrating All Things Related to Parenting Twins Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:28:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: washDC12345 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3698 washDC12345 Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:29:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3698 No one has suggested this yet, but I think you should seriously consider couples counseling. It could help you both sort out your feelings about this extremely complicated issue. It might also help prevent your husband from making a hasty decision he might regret. That doesn't mean a therapist can convince him not to go back to this ex-girlfriend if he's set on it. But as you pointed out, that woman probably has some serious issues of her own, and it may be a very bad idea for everyone involved for him to simply go back to her. A therapist may help him see that, better than you can. If you like this idea and your husband balks at it, tell him that as his wife you are owed at least this much.<br><b>References : </b><br> No one has suggested this yet, but I think you should seriously consider couples counseling. It could help you both sort out your feelings about this extremely complicated issue. It might also help prevent your husband from making a hasty decision he might regret. That doesn’t mean a therapist can convince him not to go back to this ex-girlfriend if he’s set on it. But as you pointed out, that woman probably has some serious issues of her own, and it may be a very bad idea for everyone involved for him to simply go back to her. A therapist may help him see that, better than you can.

If you like this idea and your husband balks at it, tell him that as his wife you are owed at least this much.
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]]> By: Melissa http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3697 Melissa Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:50:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3697 I think you're facing a really scary question. I would be scared to ask my husband if he "settled" for me or if he married me knowing another woman was in the back of his mind. It would be more intimidating to find out that this woman also has 2 children with him because obviously he is going to be wanting a bond with those kids and that will put him in contact with his ex. Even though I would be scared to ask if he really wanted to be married; I would still do it. Otherwise you're in for a very unhappy marriage. If you weren't around - would he take her back? If so, your marriage is in big trouble. I wish I had an answer for you on this. All I can say is - talk to him. I hope he has the answers you want to here and I hope he is honest when he says them. As for why she took off - she's a lawyer. She probably wasn't happy with him and left. Didn't tell him about the pregnancy because she has money and would probably owe him child support. She came back and thought she needed to do the moral thing. Just a theory. Good luck.<br><b>References : </b><br> I think you’re facing a really scary question. I would be scared to ask my husband if he "settled" for me or if he married me knowing another woman was in the back of his mind. It would be more intimidating to find out that this woman also has 2 children with him because obviously he is going to be wanting a bond with those kids and that will put him in contact with his ex. Even though I would be scared to ask if he really wanted to be married; I would still do it. Otherwise you’re in for a very unhappy marriage. If you weren’t around - would he take her back? If so, your marriage is in big trouble. I wish I had an answer for you on this. All I can say is - talk to him. I hope he has the answers you want to here and I hope he is honest when he says them.

As for why she took off - she’s a lawyer. She probably wasn’t happy with him and left. Didn’t tell him about the pregnancy because she has money and would probably owe him child support. She came back and thought she needed to do the moral thing. Just a theory.

Good luck.
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]]> By: Kiles http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3696 Kiles Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:02:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3696 This is just about the worst thing that could happen in a marriage besides my husband literally getting hit by a bus...and maybe an affair. I really don't think there is much you can do. Just be supportive and indirectly remind him why he married you and how happy you two are together. Be as supportive as you can be, let him no that you have no issues with the addition of two toddlers two YOUR family even if you may...right now isn't the time for that...let him no that you are standing by him and won't leave his side..like this other woman did. He may very well still be in love with her or have feelings and in the event that he does end up leaving there was really nothing you could have done. You can't control his actions or his feelings only your own...don't give up without a fight though. If it even comes to that.<br><b>References : </b><br> This is just about the worst thing that could happen in a marriage besides my husband literally getting hit by a bus…and maybe an affair.

I really don’t think there is much you can do. Just be supportive and indirectly remind him why he married you and how happy you two are together. Be as supportive as you can be, let him no that you have no issues with the addition of two toddlers two YOUR family even if you may…right now isn’t the time for that…let him no that you are standing by him and won’t leave his side..like this other woman did. He may very well still be in love with her or have feelings and in the event that he does end up leaving there was really nothing you could have done. You can’t control his actions or his feelings only your own…don’t give up without a fight though. If it even comes to that.
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]]> By: AnswerDude http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3695 AnswerDude Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:52:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3695 This sucks for you! She was probably his first love? Your probably his second best (sorry but true) and like you said he originally wanted to be with her and part of him still does. NOW he is in a true pickle because of the children. Old feelings are back and it has to be hell on him! Sucks! I don't know what to tell you!<br><b>References : </b><br> This sucks for you! She was probably his first love? Your probably his second best (sorry but true) and like you said he originally wanted to be with her and part of him still does. NOW he is in a true pickle because of the children. Old feelings are back and it has to be hell on him!

Sucks! I don’t know what to tell you!
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]]> By: Andie http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3694 Andie Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:20:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3694 What an awful situation to be in... not knowing if your husband still wants the life you planned togehter. You just have to trust that he will be there for you no matter what. It doesn't look great, but he married you so he must care about you very much. If it were me, I would talk to him about it, tell him I loved him and didn't want to be without him, but was willing to accept it if he had a change of heart. Hopefully if you do this he will be able to tell you what he's feeling and you will be able to work this out together.<br><b>References : </b><br> What an awful situation to be in… not knowing if your husband still wants the life you planned togehter. You just have to trust that he will be there for you no matter what. It doesn’t look great, but he married you so he must care about you very much. If it were me, I would talk to him about it, tell him I loved him and didn’t want to be without him, but was willing to accept it if he had a change of heart. Hopefully if you do this he will be able to tell you what he’s feeling and you will be able to work this out together.
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]]> By: regjoeschmo http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3693 regjoeschmo Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:36:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3693 Paternity tests would be up to him, but I would assume that the parent child bond is there and it may not be necessary. It is definately a viable legal position. This is going to cause a lot of new feelings even amongst you and him. Thats natural. Its all about how we decide to use the feelings that matter. Keep an open line of communication about this and all the feelings involved, and you all should do fine.<br><b>References : </b><br> Paternity tests would be up to him, but I would assume that the parent child bond is there and it may not be necessary. It is definately a viable legal position. This is going to cause a lot of new feelings even amongst you and him. Thats natural. Its all about how we decide to use the feelings that matter. Keep an open line of communication about this and all the feelings involved, and you all should do fine.
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]]> By: jenny http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3692 jenny Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:09:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3692 I honestly have no advice for you but I feel terrible for you.. this is going to be a steep hill to climb though. All you can do for him is be supportive and understanding. But don't let your guard down, his ex may have finally told him about the kids because she has her own plan. I hope this isn't the case but just in case keep your eyes and ears open. Good luck to you.<br><b>References : </b><br> I honestly have no advice for you but I feel terrible for you.. this is going to be a steep hill to climb though. All you can do for him is be supportive and understanding. But don’t let your guard down, his ex may have finally told him about the kids because she has her own plan. I hope this isn’t the case but just in case keep your eyes and ears open.

Good luck to you.
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]]> By: Arianaa http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3691 Arianaa Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:29:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3691 You don't stand a fighting chance if he is still in love with her. This really doesn't sound good at all. They grew up together, 5 year relationship, she leaves him, he chases after her months later...I hate to say this, but he was strung. She's an abuse victim, he's protective of her..Yikes....she steps back in the picture with 2 of his children....Yiiiiiikes. The worst part is many people won't see anything wrong with this because they'll say he was doing the "right thing" by going back to her and being a real family..stepping up to the plate...he'll probably think the same thing too until she lives him again five years down the road and he's sitting there with his two kids wondering were the hell he went wrong. S**T I would hate to be you right now, but I do have an overactive imagination..I could be entirely wrong. Good luck to you. you need it.<br><b>References : </b><br>I answered this already.. You don’t stand a fighting chance if he is still in love with her.

This really doesn’t sound good at all. They grew up together, 5 year relationship, she leaves him, he chases after her months later…I hate to say this, but he was strung. She’s an abuse victim, he’s protective of her..Yikes….she steps back in the picture with 2 of his children….Yiiiiiikes.

The worst part is many people won’t see anything wrong with this because they’ll say he was doing the "right thing" by going back to her and being a real family..stepping up to the plate…he’ll probably think the same thing too until she lives him again five years down the road and he’s sitting there with his two kids wondering were the hell he went wrong.

S**T I would hate to be you right now, but I do have an overactive imagination..I could be entirely wrong. Good luck to you. you need it.
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I answered this already..

]]> By: Donyae http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3690 Donyae Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:00:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3690 You should get a paternity test. And you should ask him about his feelings. Instead of Y!A. Tell him about yours and if he remains evasive then move on. I feel very bad for you. This is very sad.<br><b>References : </b><br> You should get a paternity test.

And you should ask him about his feelings. Instead of Y!A. Tell him about yours and if he remains evasive then move on.

I feel very bad for you. This is very sad.
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]]> By: say it all... http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/comment-page-1/#comment-3689 say it all... Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:18:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2009/12/my-husband-found-out-he-has-3-year-old-twins-is-he-still-in-love-with-her/#comment-3689 I can only assume he's going through his own surreal feelings about everything...just be there, be supportive and keep on your toes - just in case!<br><b>References : </b><br> I can only assume he’s going through his own surreal feelings about everything…just be there, be supportive and keep on your toes - just in case!
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