Comments on: Chpt. 1 DOES THIS SOUND ANY GOOD…? http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/ Celebrating All Things Related to Parenting Twins Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:51:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: ♥Felicia loves her cat♥ http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3749 ♥Felicia loves her cat♥ Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:44:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/#comment-3749 It's pretty bad. Go back and edit. Do you know the difference between were and we're? Do you know you shouldn't dump a bunch of information on the readers when the first start reading your book? It bores us, and we don't want to continue. I'm talking about you telling us where the twins go to school, and then again when you stop the story and tell us about their parents. You can find a better way to do that. You also tell instead of show.<br><b>References : </b><br> It’s pretty bad. Go back and edit. Do you know the difference between were and we’re? Do you know you shouldn’t dump a bunch of information on the readers when the first start reading your book? It bores us, and we don’t want to continue. I’m talking about you telling us where the twins go to school, and then again when you stop the story and tell us about their parents. You can find a better way to do that. You also tell instead of show.
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]]> By: Marlowe L http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3748 Marlowe L Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:32:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/#comment-3748 Way too much happening. You start off with dialogue and rush straight into a blow-by-blow succession of events. Describe the actions, use imagery... SLOW DOWN.<br><b>References : </b><br> Way too much happening. You start off with dialogue and rush straight into a blow-by-blow succession of events. Describe the actions, use imagery…

SLOW DOWN.
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]]> By: Tulak http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/comment-page-1/#comment-3747 Tulak Wed, 13 Jan 2010 05:46:59 +0000 http://www.twinsarefun.com/2010/01/chpt-1-does-this-sound-any-good-2/#comment-3747 I'm not an writer or anything so I can't give any tips, but I enjoyed reading that.<br><b>References : </b><br> I’m not an writer or anything so I can’t give any tips, but I enjoyed reading that.
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