1. Are you saying he won’t marry you on his day off? What time would be better? Get married while he is at work? Maybe he should take an extra day off so that he feels rested enough to just make it down the aisle.

2. Buy your own alarm clock. Cheaper the better! (my alarm clock was 5 bucks at walmart. It’s small and pink and I’ve had it 3 years)

3. That was very inconsiderate of him. I’d be pissed too. How selfish and unkind to you.

4. Tell him to get over it. The name of the game is compromise. He wants his own room? His own $hit has to go along with him. To be fair, my husband and I don’t often sleep in the same room. He snores and he goes to bed EARLY cause he has get up for work at 2:30am. I either sleep in my son’s bed or the guest room. This works just fine for us and we are very happy.

5. He needs to get used to the fact that he is going to lose sleep. With 2 new babies in the house, NO ONE gets to have 8 hours beauty rest. I don’t care if he is the breadwinner. You are still going to need help after your mom leaves. In my situation, my husband was at work by 4am, so I really did most of the nighttime duties, but on his days off, I got to sleep in! I also work full time, so I went to work half asleep for months! Put your foot down. Your mom is there to help BOTH of you. he can suck it up for 2 damn weeks and be "inconvienenced."

6. My husband said the same thing. Not about it being my job to change diapers- because we both work, just that he wouldn’t do it. he said he changed his nephew’s diaper some 16 yrs before-once- and it was digusting and he would never do it again, And, while I was on maternity leave, I changed the baby’s diaper 100%. But, I had to go back to work when he was 5 weeks old. My husband got off work at 1pm, and had the baby all day until I got home at 7pm, so he had no choice! 3 years later and he’s a pro! And he’s quite proud of that! You may be a stay at home mom, but I guarantee you that there will be times when your husband will have to change a diaper or 2. You may get sick and have the flu, you may have to pop out of the house for an hour to buy the groceries (you do not want to do this with 2 babies in tow!), etc… if your man thinks that he will NEVER be alone with his children, he will be surprised. (you never know, he may have them all weekend by himself for court-ordered visitation!)

7. Gently remind him of this.

8. Gently remind him it’s the cat’s fault. You didn’t take a dump on the floor. With my 1st pregnancy, I cleaned up the cat box. I put on gloves and wore a mask and everything was fine. Odds are I am immune as I’ve had cats my whole life. For some unknown reason, my husband took over the cleaning of the cat box about a year ago. I am 8 months pregnant now and it’s been FAB not having to do it!

9. I can see how unappealing sitting in a car that long would be. With twin babies. I’ll give him this one. It’s not as if having your family meet him is such a treat (for them). Bring it up again after you have the babies… you might even change your mind. Go without him if you must.

10. I’m sorry. He’s getting on my nerves too!

He sounds like such a catch- yeah not really. I am assuming he wasn’t always this way. Maybe this is just the way he is reacting to stress and nervousness of being a dad. Not really an excuse, but it’s all I can come up with. He better change his attitude right quick. I’m telling you, having ONE newborn in the house will test your relationship like it’s never been tested before. If there are any cracks…it’ll make them worse. My husband and I had/have such a solid relationship, but even we were bickering a bit. Evetually, we got a routine and things settled down….

You will soon learn that your babies’ needs come before your husbands when they are still newborns. After you’ve had 3 days/nights of no sleep and your husband says "I need some sleep can you keep it down?" You will bite his head off so fast, without warning and you WILL put him in his place.

For what it’s worth, I had a c-section too. No one could come help me. My husband could only afford to take one week off with me. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have 2 of them! My son was also very colicky and I had post partum depression. I really could have used my mom there! I had to return to work after I ran out of vacation/sick time because I could not afford to take unpaid leave. This meant I had to take the baby to his 5 day check up & back to the hospital for the PKU test… way before I was cleared to drive again. You gotta do what ya gotta do. I’m having another baby in 4 weeks, and this time my mom is able to be here. Thankfully!!

Good luck! Kick his a$$ for me.

Congratulations too!!!!
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**UPDATE**

Just wanted to add that it makes me laugh when he thinks he should not be disturbed because he works 40 hours a week- so he has the right to get a full nights’ rest. I would love that too, I have to work 40+ hours! Most parents both have to work in this country and when there is a new baby in the house, BOTH parents are expected to share the load.

If he thinks working 40 hours a week is a real job (no matter the occupation) I guarantee you that taking care of twin newborns is MUCH MUCH more difficult and is more work. IN fact, he will get to escape the chaos everyday when he is at work. Work will be his haven. I know lots of men who put in extra hours at the office to avoid having to go home because taking care of a baby is a lot more demanding. I just want you to know that just because he is working a "real" job doesn’t mean that life at home is a cake walk for you. I think most people would agree that being a stay at home parent is the hardest job there is.

2.) The alarm clock thing really isn’t as important, or as bad, as some of the other thing this guy is doing. I would simply take my alarm clock back.

3.) Yes, I would be upset if my husband left when my parents were only going to be in town one day. Just another sign that he doesn’t want to be a part of your family.

4.) I understand you both wanting good sleep. There are the nights where I crash in the living room with our 3mo son, while my 3yr old daughter and husband sleep in our room (are daughter’s bed is located in our room as well). There’s nights where my son sleeps in his crib, my daughter and I in my bed, and my husband in our daughter’s bed. Some nights we’re all in the right beds. But, my husband would never *move* into another room and call it his.

5.) He wants you, your mother, and his children to hole up in a bedroom while he hangs out in the rest of the house? This guy is a douche. I really hate to say that, as I see way to much Daddy bashing on here, but seriously. From your descriptions, it sounds like he wants to live alone.

6.) This *man* has no interest in being a father. Sure, I sometimes have to prod my husband to change a diaper, but he wouldn’t dare (LOL) tell me no. He played a major part in the creation of these babies, so he needs to play a major role in parenting them.

9.) I would go on this trip without him. Sounds like he would just gripe and complain the whole way, so you would probably have more fun anyway.

I really hope everything works out for you and your little family. Having a new baby in the house is so stressful in and of it’s self, so you don’t also need to be stressing about the relationship between you and the father. Perhaps he’s just starting to freak out a bit as the due date gets closer and is taking it out on you? Maybe he’s starting to realize how much his life is about to change and is trying to cling to his more "convenient" life? If this attitude has just started, then I would say that has something to do with it. But, if he’s always been this way, then I would be cutting your loses.

So, long story short (sorry..haha) yes, you should be upset at your spouse.
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It’s obvious he doesn’t want to be married to you.

He doesn’t want a life with you.

He doesn’t want to be a father.

He has no interest in anything but himself and his world.

Honey, move home to your parents before the babies are born. If he cares, he will come after you, but I will bet dollars to donuts he doesn’t. Better to break it off now and travel home, then to have to pack up and do it alone with two babies in tow.
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