Handling LARGE sibling group - 5 adoptive kids and 1 bio.?
We are in the process of adopting a sibling group of 5 children. Plus, we have one bio-daughter already. So our house as you can imagine is BUSY and sometimes chaotic. Our oldest son is 6, the rest of them go all the way down to 1 (no twins). We’ve had them for almost a year already, but we are trying to find a parenting class or support group of how to manage a large sibling group so the house looks a little more calm and less chaotic. I’ve read many parenting books and adoption books, but any suggestions on how to handle a large family would be greatly appreciated.
We need more of a class/ seminar/workshop help than personal advice. Kids are all very attached and already consider our family their own family.
Thank you
I have 5 biological children, and I have managed to hold down the fort as a married sahm. Its hard, but it can be done, and it can be done with very little chaos if you organize and keep yourself calm. I don’t have too many suggestions that I can actually list, but I manage to feed us on less than $200 bucks every 2 weeks, and I manage to keep everyone alive, healthy, and mostly happy. If you had any specific questions, I could answer those. I am not a stuffy soccer mom, but I manage to be a pretty rockin’ mom.
ETA: I have yet to find a book or any organized advice (seminar, etc…) that covers practical applyable advice that was managable for my family.
Filed under: Parents of Twins Support
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I have 5 biological children, and I have managed to hold down the fort as a married sahm. Its hard, but it can be done, and it can be done with very little chaos if you organize and keep yourself calm. I don’t have too many suggestions that I can actually list, but I manage to feed us on less than $200 bucks every 2 weeks, and I manage to keep everyone alive, healthy, and mostly happy. If you had any specific questions, I could answer those. I am not a stuffy soccer mom, but I manage to be a pretty rockin’ mom.
ETA: I have yet to find a book or any organized advice (seminar, etc…) that covers practical applyable advice that was managable for my family.
References :
adoptee, mother of 5
Whew! I bow down to you!!! It must get pretty crazy but i can also imagine how your home is filled with love and laughter too.
You must be doing huge loads of laundry each day and cooking like mad. I do not have several kids like you do but one thing I would say is try to cook several large meals on Sundays that can be frozen and reheated throughout the week (lasagna, burgers/brats, tacos and things like that).
But most importantly, do you and your husband have a strong support system with your families that allow you an afternoon a few times a month to yourself? You’ve got to be good to each other as well in order to be good parents (and no, i’m not insinuating that you’re a bad parent — quite the opposite). You need a moment of peace amid the chaos as well.
I have one granddaughter and I am so thankful for the help that all sides of our family provide. I hope that you have that support as well.
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mom / gramma
There probably won’t be too many classes/seminars that are targeted for exactly your situation but there are a lot of things that come up with a little google searching. I entered "managing large family of children" and there were tons of hits.
One that may be of interest is a webring of families with larger groups of kids (5+). Its at
http://www.webring.com/hub?ring=rfamily
One thing I’ve been told by friends who have larger than normal family sizes is that when the children are older for extracurriculars, etc to not over schedule. One activity per child per week, not per day like some people do. Having free time to just be a kid is a good thing.
You may want to call in a professional organizer to come look at your home/needs or find a book on the matter. One I’m working on now is "the house that cleans itself". We waste a lot of time decluttering/cleaning and this book walks you through getting your home set up to work for you and your personal needs since what would be right in my household is certainly not going to work in yours. Clutter also makes things seem more chaotic. Getting a system in place when the kids are all pretty young would be a great thing!
References :
http://www.largerfamilies.com/drupal/
google large families, I think there is one at NACAC.org that is specific to adopted families.
I have only 3 and a lot of noise. the chaos I can deal with but the noise I hate!!!
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wouldn’t the case worker or social worker or agency you are adopting thru have some useful info on classes or groups for this. That’s where we get our info.
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I have just one tip…when things get loud and chaotic, instead of getting louder and more rushed, do the complete opposite. Talk very quietly and slowly, move more slowly and deliberately…it’ll rub off. If it gets really crazy, whisper. If you keep your cool, the kids will follow suit.
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We have adopted a large sibling group as well. There are 7 of them but we don’t have any biological children. If you have done it for the past year, you will be fine. Ours are 9, 8, 6, 4, 3, 2, and 10 months. Let me tell you that it doesn’t matter what you do, this many kids is chaotic. But have fun with it! I wouldn’t want my life any other way! I love all of the kids and their biological connections with each other.
I don’t attend anything for large families, mainly because they are super religious and against 2 lesbians have 7 kids. But I know there are groups out there. A lot of times, they are home schooling groups.
Good luck! Thank you for keeping the kids together. Kids deserve to be with their siblings.
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