Help, parents are LITERALLY ruining my life?
I know this sounds like I’m just some stupid teenager being completely dramatic, but my parents have ruined my life. If you disagree, please mention so. If its my fault, I want to take responsibility. I understand that sometimes people do wrong things without realizing it. I want to present the FACTS as accurately as possible.
1: Whenever my parents have an idea that they support, and I disagree, regardless of who knows more about the issue, they call me moronic and stupid for not thinking they are right. Today for example, my parents wanted me to take a practice AP exam for a class. This only encompasses the multiple section, a section in which about 95% of people pass, and I practice it daily. Essentially, to me its like taking a multiple choice test that asks questions like (2 x 2 = ?). I told them that I asked around and everyone who ACTUALLY TOOK THE TEST says that these practice tests are a waste of time and money (scams). My parents made a total list of reasons why I’m stupid, insulted me, and then told me that the test would do _____, in a way that shows they feel they know everything about the test, when one of them didn’t even know there were AP exams, and the other came from a foreign country and has never even seen an exam. In school I’ve been instructed on every detail and format of the test, and have already taken practice exams. At the end, they just told me to say yes or no and then "shut the hell up" without offering a voice of my perspective.
2: Arrogance is part of my family. I even admit I can be arrogant very frequently, but my parents’ arrogance is ruining my opportunities and education. My mother acts like she knows everything about school and makes up random statistics to make herself look right. When I give real facts, the only thing she ever says is, "bullshit". I am always wrong if what I say contradicts them. This is not some of the times, this is ALL the time. So much so that its ridiculous for me and others to hear. Can you imagine someone assuming they are right ALL the time? I can’t believe they haven’t noticed how ridiculous it is. My dad just said that UCSD is significantly superior to UCLA, though technically UCLA has more competition and a higher GPA expectation/SAT score average. He just said I was full of shit and that I didn’t know what I was talking about. He said he did extensive research and I’m here ready to bet anyone $10,000 he has never been to the UCSD or UCLA websites.
3: Dominance is too much with my parents. If I play an instrument and my dad is watching his favorite show, I have to stop right there. If my parents are ever sleeping, instrument off. I was practicing scales on the saxophone (something you need to frequently practice from beginner to pro) and they were mad because I was being "repetitive", when scales are supposed to be practiced daily. Also, if I ever voice my opinion, its wrong if its not theirs, as mentioned before. I then support it with evidence and strong proof, and before 2 words come out of my mouth, I get a "shut the hell up, not one more word". If I defy this and actually prove them wrong I get a punch/slap in the face and my dad says "your mouth is writing checks your ass can’t cash"
4. Simple enough, is it legal to hit your children in the head at all? What are the physical "discipline" laws in California?
5. At math SAT class we played a game of competition in math so that we would be motivated to work harder. I beat everyone by a significant amount of points and was so motivated to become a better student. Normally I don’t do so well, but I was so happy that I was getting better. My mother asks me what we did that day and I simply tell her we were playing a competitive game. Her response: "You probably got last place cause you suck at math, huh? Rachel (her best friend’s daughter) probably did way better because she’s actually smart". I know, this has to be unreal. Seriously, what mother says that to her kid? I think this is the worst of all. I was just planning on doing well in school, going to a good college, and just never associating with my parents again, but with my mother/father continuously calling me stupid and worthless, I feel no motivation to work harder. I know its all up to me, but to have the people who raised you and gave birth to you tell you that you won’t amount to anything really hurts. The only way my parents will be kind and loving to me is if I shutup, listen always, never give opinions, pretend like I agree and enjoy everything they say, and get the top of my classes for every subject. I’ve been struggling greatly in Calculus, and for the first time I got a 98% on a test (very hard to do because its a highly advanced class with a tough teacher). My mother’s response when I come up to her excited about my score: "Why didn’t you get 100%?"
I’m not saying my parents are twin-Satans,but they are conceited, stubborn, and arrogant. Because I’m under 18, they feel that they can make their word la
you are considering yourself like you were unlucky to have parents but think of others who want to have parents and still cant have them..
but still i would consider your situation…
maybe they are getting strict on you cause they love you and they dont want you to have the lives that they encountered in the past life and maybe they are just being traumatized on the pains and hurts that they also encountered and they dont want you to suffer also the same thing what happened to them. someday if youll have children of your own, youll realize parenting was so difficult esp. when your kids were stubborn and dont respect you…
love your parents give them their own dose of medicine … guilty feelings are nastier revenge dude..
-gwenn
Filed under: Parents of Twins Support
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you are considering yourself like you were unlucky to have parents but think of others who want to have parents and still cant have them..
but still i would consider your situation…
maybe they are getting strict on you cause they love you and they dont want you to have the lives that they encountered in the past life and maybe they are just being traumatized on the pains and hurts that they also encountered and they dont want you to suffer also the same thing what happened to them. someday if youll have children of your own, youll realize parenting was so difficult esp. when your kids were stubborn and dont respect you…
love your parents give them their own dose of medicine … guilty feelings are nastier revenge dude..
-gwenn
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gzzrocks_420@yahoo.com.ph
Sounds to me like you need to legally divorce your parents & become emancipated. Then, of course, you’ll have to get a job AND go to school. However, if your father is actually punching you, you need to talk to a counselor at school ASAP!!!
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No its not right for ur parents to punch or slap u in the face. Obviously someone needs to pull the corn cob out ur parents a** and stick titantic up their a**es instead… I have a brother in law that thinks he knows everything and is never wrong… But dnt let their bullsh** get to u… U seem like a smart kid, dnt give up being top of the class and going to college, and once u go to college and get a degree and get a good paying job, f*** ur parents, and when they call u tellin u this and that and being real nice, tell em to f*** off and go to hell. That’s jus wut I wud do, and child services need to know about them slappin/punching u in the face.. Find some way to show that u got proof, trust me ur gonna need proof, and not jus a friend being in the house and sees ur parents strike u, we are talkin bout being video recorder… I’ve been thru that sh**, cuz of what my own father did to me and the DHS(Department of Human Services) did not believe a word I said even tho one of my sisters where there to show them I was tellin the trust and the same thing happened to her as well and he had my other sister there to testify and lie for him and sh** and needless to say they didn’t believe me cuz I didn’t have real proof and they jus left me in the home wit him and my mother, which she didn’t believe me either, which is f***’d up and a buncha bullsh**. So my best advice is get it on video some how and take it to someone who can do something about it. Good luck and hope this helps.
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My parents are like that too…what you need to do I take control. Act out, reallybgive your parents a reason to be mad. Pretend to be the opposite of you, be bad, dye your hair blue, get a fake tongue ring or something…then at the end of the week lay down the law, tell your parents that your not 4, that their child could be a he’ll of a lot worse then you ( and since you proved that, they should lighten up)
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Hi, I’m a parent of a teen your age. I admire your effort to take responsibility if that’s appropriate. Here’s my 2 cents:
1. It is never, ever okay for your parent to call you stupid. As a mom, that disgusts me. You are your own person with your own opinions and you have a right to express them politely. I’m guessing they were treated that way as kids and don’t realize how wrong it is. In that case, I’m sorry for them, but it doesn’t give them the right to treat you so badly.
2. Your dad sounds like an insecure jerk - it’s not about the facts, it’s about being right. He can check the http://www.collegeboard.com website - or US News’ college stats - and every indicator says that UCLA is the better school. I’m a UCLA alum. It’s far superior to UCSD and harder to get into.
3 and 4. I am appalled your parents would talk to you that way. We all have moments of intense frustration where we say things we don’t mean - but that should be followed by sincere apologies. Swatting your kid on the arm is one thing - punching them in the face is another thing entirely. I would be shocked if that were legal. If it’s not child abuse, it certainly is assault.
4. You should be proud that you improved and your mother should be ashamed of herself for talking to you that way. I would never in ten million years say something like that to my child. It’s sick. Your parents’ horrible treatment of you is a comment on THEM - not you. You are not and never were "stupid and worthless". I’m sure you’re not perfect, no one is; but you certainly deserve respect - we all do - and it sickens me that people like this are even permitted to reproduce.
You can and will have a happy and successful life, and your own family will not be like this at all because knowing how it made you feel, you’ll never let that happen. Just remind yourself, when they get ugly, it’s *not* about you. These are deeply messed up people, probably filled with self-loathing… basically they’re raging at anything in their line of sight, and I do not say that lightly. You’re a good kid and things will get a million times better the second you go off to college. In fact, if you are turning 18 before you graduate, you may want to consider getting a job and moving out as soon as you finish h.s.
This is not the way a healthy, normal family operates, and you should move on with your life as soon as you’re able. I’m not saying cut them out entirely - just control your interaction with them in a way that protects you from them doing any more damage. Good luck.
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Look at your dad straight in the eye after he hits you and say "Touch me again, and I’m calling child services." MAKE SURE you have a cell phone (if you have a phone i hope) hidden so they can’t try to take it from you, and don’t give in the them. The only way to get out of abuse is to tell someone else. Don’t listen to the first answerer, love=/=abuse
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