I need some support. I’m tired of my parents overlooking my learning disability.?
I’m a twin. My twin has a 4.0. Perfect grades. I have something called Non verbal learning disorder. It basically means that while I excel in English, mathematical things are impossible for me. I struggle greatly with history maps, science equations/mathematical concepts and ALL math classes. I’m extremely upset because although I had a tutor, I recently failed geometry. My parents are very angry and don’t seem to understand that I’m not being lazy. I just do not understand! I work my butt off and yet never seem to make progress. My parents refuse to search further into my disability as they believe its all in my head. "You think you are bad at math therefore you are." Can anybody help me out? I’m tired of being compared to my "perfect" sister. I’m not lazy, I truly don’t understand.
Oh how frustrating, if you have been diagnosed as having non verbal learning disorder, your parents should have learnt a lot more about it, to better support you, it is not as simple as trying harder etc, because to better able to learn you need the correct supports to be put in place. Sadly some parents are good at trying to support their child with a learning disorder others are not.
Do you have an IEP?
Talk to the school counselor or a trusted teacher and ask them for support, they may even talk to your parents, they may also help in looking at the subjects your doing and organize to adjust them accordingly.
What should happen is someone needs to look at your strengths & weaknesses and how you best learn, such as visual cues etc. Then put in place the appropriate supports to help you. Encourage you to work on your weaknesses, and channel your skills into the area’s strengths to help build your self confidence.
Other things you can do is;
Keep a diary of when work is due, highlight the date a assignment is due, and do a little each day, never leave it until the last minute to do.
When doing home work have a quite environment, with plenty of space, and lighting, no t.v etc as this is distracting
Ask teacher to give assignments in point form, and maybe a little shorter in length, so you can work through at your pace, ticking off each point as you go. And your more likely to hand in a good piece of work, rather than half or nothing.
Have your tutor proof read you work
When studying for tests and exams, underline key words, or write them into a blank book with a note so you can reread them. Writing notes can help in remembering things
Edit; Next time your parents compare you to your sister, tell them that I am me, a separate entity to your sister, and its unfair to compare her to you.
Edit; I just realized that I had not said that my daughter and I are both dyslexic, my daughter has dysgraphia too. Hence my experience in the field of learning disorders.
Filed under: Parents of Twins Support
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No, you understand, it’s your parents that don’t. If you’ve been diagnosed, and your parents don’t believe it, that’s pretty sad. The only consolation I can give is there are a lot of parents out there that just don’t get it, you aren’t alone.
References :
First of all, remind your parents that you and your twin actually have different brains. Ask them to reread the report already given to them. They must insist you have modifications to your classwork so you can pass the course requirements. This is required in all school districts, I do believe. Finally ask them if you were blind, would they ask you to TRY HARDER AND YOU WILL SEE! Good luck to you. I pray your parents do a little research—a little education on this matter can go a long way.
References :
Oh how frustrating, if you have been diagnosed as having non verbal learning disorder, your parents should have learnt a lot more about it, to better support you, it is not as simple as trying harder etc, because to better able to learn you need the correct supports to be put in place. Sadly some parents are good at trying to support their child with a learning disorder others are not.
Do you have an IEP?
Talk to the school counselor or a trusted teacher and ask them for support, they may even talk to your parents, they may also help in looking at the subjects your doing and organize to adjust them accordingly.
What should happen is someone needs to look at your strengths & weaknesses and how you best learn, such as visual cues etc. Then put in place the appropriate supports to help you. Encourage you to work on your weaknesses, and channel your skills into the area’s strengths to help build your self confidence.
Other things you can do is;
Keep a diary of when work is due, highlight the date a assignment is due, and do a little each day, never leave it until the last minute to do.
When doing home work have a quite environment, with plenty of space, and lighting, no t.v etc as this is distracting
Ask teacher to give assignments in point form, and maybe a little shorter in length, so you can work through at your pace, ticking off each point as you go. And your more likely to hand in a good piece of work, rather than half or nothing.
Have your tutor proof read you work
When studying for tests and exams, underline key words, or write them into a blank book with a note so you can reread them. Writing notes can help in remembering things
Edit; Next time your parents compare you to your sister, tell them that I am me, a separate entity to your sister, and its unfair to compare her to you.
Edit; I just realized that I had not said that my daughter and I are both dyslexic, my daughter has dysgraphia too. Hence my experience in the field of learning disorders.
References :
Youth & Disability support worker and sessional teacher with a special interest in learning disorders.
http://www.ldonline.org/
http://www.nldontheweb.org/home.html
http://helpguide.org/mental/learning_disabilities.htm
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/learning/teacher.shtml
This may explain why your having so much problem with maths etc
http://www.helium.com/items/1445348-math-strategies-for-teaching-nld-students
I may not have any answers for you; but I felt compelled to offer some support.
My son has a learning disability. He has adhd and dysgraphia. Although his intelligence level is above average, he struggles in math. Reading is something he is barely grasping. He has a horrible time with writing. His father would often degrade him and say that my son was just being lazy because he could not do and would struggle with homework. I know for a fact that my son tries his absolute best. I know he will always struggle, but I have always remained his number one support.
I am sorry that your parents feel this way. It is unfair. And no—you can’t unthink your disability or wish it away. It is something you were born with and it is something that you will have to learn to accommodate for the rest of your life. Does this mean you can’t or won’t be successful? Absolutely not.
Maybe you could have your teacher (s) explain to your parents that your disability is not laziness. It is imperative that you are given a voice in this matter.
Stay strong. Do the best you can.
References :
I work in Special Education
I know exactly how you feel. When I was younger I struggled in all English classes but I excelled in Math/ Science and my family did not understand that I had a learning disability nor did they want to understand. Because of the fact that my reading comprehension/ writing level was always several grades behind everyone else due to a speech impediment. Because of my learning disability, I always got viewed as "A Retard" by my family despite acing Pre-Calculus and it use to irritate the hell out of me. In fact, we had our share of very bitter fights because of it and as a result I grew to detest the word "Retarded" with a fierce passion.
I had spell/ grammar check that helped me with any and all college papers that I had to write. Even now, I still can’t write that good unless I develop an serious attitude; in which, I don’t hold anything back and I have made some very powerful enemies because of it. In your case, I would suggest you talking to your guidance counselor, your math teacher, and perhaps another teacher. Ask them to schedule an appointment with your parents and take to them. In the meantime, do exactly what I did: work hard on your weak subject and make sure that your parents are aware of it.
The next time they compare you to your sister tell them exactly what I used to tell my family every time they compared me to my ’smarter sisters’: "I am (your name) not (your sister’s name) and if you can’t accept that fact, that is your (your parents) problem not mine." If they continue, do what I did and quit doing any/ all favors for them. Tell them "Sorry, I can’t help you. How about asking (your sister’s name) instead. She is ‘perfect’ you know." Eventually, they will get the hint that you are not lazy nor stupid. My family finally did.
References :