Was i wrong to tell my 16 yr old sister that she should have aborted ? she’s having twins . please read?
i found out a week ago (over FB) that my sis is pregnant. shes younger im 20 and she is 16.
she no longer lives with my family because a few years ago she started doing drugs and partying and being in gangs.. so she went to live at her fathers apt.
its an incredibly long story.
anyway she is having twins .3 mo. its insane .. .i’m pro choice. and anyway this could ruin her life.. i know my little sister is the most reckless irresponsilble being onthe planet.. shes never picked up a thing.. trust me ive lived with her.
the father of the kids is out of the picture .. hes my age and he told her he doesnt want them.
her father and my mother support her and they are telling her its going to be fine .
me and my older sister are pretty stunned. (shes 22). we think this is a huge mistake and that she should be told the turth and not led to believe that having kids is a walk in the park .
but we havent talked about it . my family is very secretive .. we dont have a healthy dynamic or any communicatioon and i was sick of it .
i called my younger sister last night and asked her why she chose not to abort.
she said that she hadnt known she was pregnant until 3 months in the pregnancy .and that she felt she couldnt kill the babies.
anyway she also started yelling crying and cursing at me .. i told her she was making a big mistake and that she should have aborted. she said "they are just kids BIG DEAL".
she said she didnt care about my opinion. .there was alot more said about the past which is a really long story .. but after i got off the phone with her she called my mom and told her i’d said she needs to get an abortion .
I didnt even say that . i told her i think she should have and i told her the truth .
no one has been honest with her .
Anyway my mom went crazy mad . she woke me up at 230 am and she wouldnt listen to me at all she kept telling me it wasnt my business.
mymom is highly immature and very juvenile. during this "conversation" she continued in mimmicking me while i talked and she kept interrupting me .all i could see was her anger and i was calm .
this is frequently how my mom confronts things with me which is why we arent close at all.
Anyway she said as logn as her parents support her i dont matter and that i have no right to say anything to my sister because im an adult and my little sister isnt.
I told her that my little sister needs to be an aadult because she has made an adult decision and furthurmore i can tell anyone what i feel if iwant to . and at least im being honest .. its unhealthy to lie and be fake about .and my mom wants me to be fake and act like its no big deal.
The question is do you think i was wrong to tell my little sister what i felt about her decision?
i ddint call her names or anything i was trying to be honest and tell her the truth .she seems to think that her father is going to fix everything with money . she doesnt even care that they wont have a dad.
no i wasnt attacking her.. ijust told her it was abad chioce in my opinion .. and that she should have aborted. thats all then we were talking about other porblems which i cant get into .. no way would i shove my opinion on anyone .. anyway i will leave her alone .. i jsut wanted to get it out there. but im not having anything to do with it anymore . which is why im not shoving anything .i have accepted her choice.
I am pro-choice too, but that does not mean I support someone shoving their opinion in my face. It is very offensive of you to demean your sister over not choosing abortion, the whole point of being pro choice is supporting her right to choose, even if you don’t agree with her, you should still support her. Yes, having kids is tough, and yes you should not sugar coat it for her. But neither should you attack or abandon her. She made her bed, she will sleep in it, and if her parents are willing to help her support the babies then really, is it any of your business?
Filed under: Parents of Twins Support
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Although she made a mistake by getting pregnant, abortion is MURDER. if her twins must die, then let them have a say in it.
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yes, but not for the reason you think. i think you were wrong to become involved because its not your problem. this does not effect you at all so leave it alone. she already ruined her life so why not let her ruin it more. on the bright side, after this she really cant do much more damage so let her be. maybe some day she’ll learn from her mistake. having twins could be a wake up call.
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I am pro-choice too, but that does not mean I support someone shoving their opinion in my face. It is very offensive of you to demean your sister over not choosing abortion, the whole point of being pro choice is supporting her right to choose, even if you don’t agree with her, you should still support her. Yes, having kids is tough, and yes you should not sugar coat it for her. But neither should you attack or abandon her. She made her bed, she will sleep in it, and if her parents are willing to help her support the babies then really, is it any of your business?
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Hey, whilst I think you are right, that it was probably the wrong time for her to have the babies, if she didn’t find out until it was too late to abort then telling her she should have done is not really going to help or achieve anything.
At the end of the day, what’s done is done, you are entitled to your opinion, but I think you just have to draw a line under it all now, she is obviously going to have the babies, you just have to decide whether you want to be there for her or not, if so, let her know that whilst you feel it was bad timing for her, you will be there for her. If not, just leave it, no point stressing her out whilst she is pregnant when hormones are running high and she is likely to be over emotional and stress will not be good for her babies.
I totally understand why you said it, but I dont’ think anything can be achieved by re-iterating it.
All the best and i hope you can move out soon, sounds like a nightmare with your mum…
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Yes I think its wrong you told her to abort . I think you should of told her to think more carefully. A good option fr your sister is adoption, all that matters are those 2 babies.
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Well maybe instead of abortion she could put them up for adoption? But I do agree with you.
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I don’t think it was wrong for you to give your opinion, if that was what you were doing. Now, if you said it out of anger and basically told her that abortion is what she should have done, then yes, that was wrong of you. It all depends on how and why you said it.
I do find it odd that you didn’t even mention adoption to her though.
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No, actually you and your older sister sound like the only sane people in your family. You’re totally right that she should have aborted. If I were you I would associate as little as possible with a family like that.
I feel really sorry for these twins. Hopefully your sister has cleaned up her act at the very least, and isn’t still doing drugs.
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first of all, thank you for breaking that up into paragraphs.
second of all, i think your sister should give your twins up for adoption. abortion is murder, and even if your sister is the most irresponsible person on the planet, that’s not an excuse to kill 2 children.
third of all, maybe things would go better if you met face to face with your sister instead of just calling her. be gentle, she’s probably feeling very scared right now, even if she doesn’t act it. maybe you could go out to lunch or something. remember to stay calm, even if she isn’t. think of her as your equal, and not some little girl who you have to correct. she’s a lot more likely to listen to you if she feels like you’re just trying to give your opinion, instead of trying to force her to do what you want.
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Abortion is not murder. You aren’t a baby until you’re born. And I think you are right, you don’t feel that she is stable enough to take care of them, but maybe you should have been more caring. I would recommend adoption because her lifestyle would not be fair to the twins.
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Juding by your wording your "pro-abortion" as YOU are TELLING her how to live her life.
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You couldve told her opinion but it was her choice, still is her choice, and not yours. You dont have to shove your opinion in her face or pressure her.
Just leave her alone let the person WITH the mistake deal with it.
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It was wrong.
Though you’re her big sis, you are not the one having the twins. Some people who get abortions struggle horribly with guilt. Abortion is a serious thing that only your sister, on her own, could decide to do. Plus, it can turn into a bad habit. You want your sister to learn to be responsible. If she gets an abortion, she could think it would be an easy way to get rid of kids, so she could continue getting pregnant. If she, on her own, truly believes she would not be able to take care of the twins…she could give them up for adoption. That way, she could some comfort in knowing her kids are safe with a loving family.
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