Comments on: Advice for parenting Irish Twins?

By: ♥ I love my babies ♥

♥ I love my babies ♥ — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 18:11:59 +0000

Your children don’t sound like they have anything wrong with them. They sound completely normal! My life is very similar to yours. I have four children under 3 I know exactly what you are going through. I have twins that turn 3 in December, a 20 month old, and an 8 month old. Mine are CONSTANTLY fighting also. I also have no help what so ever besides my husband who works a lot! My mother in law even lives right next door but refuses to watch them because they are such a handful. I really don’t have any advice but I am here for you to talk to because I know exactly what it’s like. Feel free to email me anytime and i’d be more than happy to talk to you!
References :

By: B

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 17:32:59 +0000

I’m exactly 1 year younger than my older sister, and I mean, exactly 1 year younger, we have the same birthday. She is the only one of my sisters that I ever fought with from childhood until I was a teenager. I never fought with my other 2 sisters. Granted that my oldest sister is 10 years older than me, but my younger sister is 1 1/2 years younger than me. For my older sister and I, I think that our fighting had a lot to do with the fact that we shared a birthday.

My parents didn’t really have to punish any of us with any real frequency. Typically, the first time we got punished for something was the last time we were punished for it because we wouldn’t do whatever it was again. That’s why my parents only ever had to deal with one temper tantrum in a store. My older sister was throwing a fit because she wanted some toy. My dad just took her out to the car and she didn’t get to come back into the store. I would have been about 3 years old then, but my mom says that my little sister and I had this horrified look on our faces when my dad walked my older sister out.

I don’t know how my mom stayed sane and didn’t kill us all off when she had to deal with 3 teenage girls at one time.
References :

By: c c

c c — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 17:27:59 +0000

Oh, my. Your girls don’t sound like they have anything ‘wrong with them.’ They sound NORMAL! and so do you. Good heavens, you are the mother of two toddlers, of course you feel like you are burning out. ONE toddler is enough to do that — TWO of them just compound it. And toddlers fight, bite, pull hair and scream– that’s just what they do. They don’t have the vocabulary or ability to make their needs/wants known through words, so they communicate however they can — fight, push, pull, bite, scream, etc. So don’t beat yourself up about that. TRY to stay calm and model to them the ‘right’ way to communicate (yeah, I know, harder than it sounds.)

Your schedule should help you. Keep the meals and naps scheduled and perhaps add a couple of things to the weekly routine — Tuesday storytime at the library or Friday at the park.

You DO need a break. Will your mom watch ONE of them at a time? Maybe even just the ‘calmer’ one? If your children can spend one on one time with an adult, that will help them learn to communicate better and more appropriately (ie: not screaming, etc.)

Then see if you can find some time (yeah, ha!) just for YOU. My thing was my ‘Thursday Night’ — take a bubble bath late at night after both kids were in bed. Just me and a tub of bubbles and a really bad sappy romance novel and a bar of chocolate. This half hour a week really helped me keep my sanity while my kids were younger (and I still do this even though they are all teenagers!)

I can tell by how worried you are that you are NOT the worst mother in the world. You DO care, that’s why you are worried. Keep hanging in there, honey. Soon these days will be done and you will trade time outs and smudgy fingerprints for driving lessons and cell phones. Sigh.
References :
mom of 4 kids — all within 5 years of each other and NO twins.

By: city-girl

city-girl — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 17:01:59 +0000

My husband and his brother are only 10 months apart, so I know this can happen.

Helpful advice is there now for you whereas in the 50’s the only book was written by someone who really had nothing important to say, (Dr. Spock).

Join a playgroup. H will be in a different age group and L will learn some new skills other than, ‘how to wrest anything my big sister has from her.’

They are not busy, but full of angst. (You are too, from the sounds of it). You need to bring calm to the home by being calm, establishing rules and keeping the daughters from hating and resenting one another. Sibling rivalry is very strong in this household: what happened in your own life? (Is this a recurring theme?)

Never ever ever show favour to ‘the good one’ this will only make the other feel rejected. (Rejection may be the issue here: when you go the surprise of your life were you happy? did you contemplate abortion? Babies can feel that. It carries through to the rest of their lives.)

Get advice from experts whom the play group recommends. ECE’s are very knowledgable and underrated. But they learn some very important ways to bring children into the bloom that God intends.

Maria Montessori learned how to bring amazing results to children of war. And today, her methods are taught all over the world. Learn what you can from her.
References :