Here’s a book that I began writing. Please tell me what you think, anything I should change or add and any grammar mistakes i have made. Thanks

Prologue

Nurse Jane walked into the hospital room to check on the twin brother and sister who had just been born. Jane was used to caring for twins, but what the doctor hadn’t told her was that the parents of the twins were teenagers, no older than 18. Jane felt sorry for the couple, they had no one there supporting them, no friends or parents. But there was something different about these parents, Jane couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she just knew they were special.
“How are you doing?” Jane asked the man. She looked at the thin file the doctor had given her. The man’s name was Zepp Chain and the woman was named Airan Gloss.
“We’re doing fine,” Zepp said, smiling down at the mother, who lay in the hospital bed, the blue covers draped around her thin body. Zepp had the girl cradled in his strong arms and Airan held the boy. The boy had thick, dark brown hair and eyes, just like his father, Jane noted. The girl had little hair on her head, but it was definitely blond, unlike her mother who was a redhead. As Jane looked closely at the baby girl, she noticed she had mesmerizing purple eyes, which were mirror images of her mother‘s eyes.
“May I see him?” Jane asked. Airan handed her his son and she cradled him in her arms. She began making faces and talking in a high pitched voice, making her self look like a fool. The baby put his small arms in the air and yawned. Jane noticed a black mark on the underside of the boy’s wrist. It was much like a tattoo and was in the shape of a sun, the rays curling off the perfect circle. What an unusual birthmark, Jane thought.
Crash! Jane whipped around, startled. Shards of glass rained onto the ground from the broken window, a man had jumped in. He wore all black, and he closely resembled Zepp. He wore gloves and held a javelin in his hands. Jane tried to run out of the room, but the man threw his javelin and volts of electricity shot through her body and she fell to the ground almost immediately, barely alive. The baby boy fell to the ground, completely unphased. Larken reached over and picked up the boy.
“Larken!” Zepp hissed.
“How are we today, little brother?” Larken said, picking up his javelin and pointing it at Airan. He pulled his arm back and threw the javelin. There was no need to aim, the weapon always hit it’s mark. It was a gift from Phaeton, his leader. Zepp ran over to Airan and softly stroked her face. She wasn’t dead yet, she could still live.
“Why are you here?” Zepp asked, tears rolling down his cheeks, which had been cut with glass from the broken window.
“Phaeton’s orders. You know how the Shining One hates it when we disobey him,” Larken said coldly. Larken moved forward and punched Zepp in the face. Zepp staggered backwards and fell into a chair, the girl still in his arms. He quickly got up and ran to the window. Zepp threw his baby girl out the window, it was the only chance she had of survival, if Larken got a hold of her, he would kill her instantly. Zepp knew the girl would live, her instincts would surely kick in.
Larken ran over to Zepp, fury etched on his face. Zepp tried desperately to get up and run, to save his son. But Larken, always having been stronger, pinned Zepp to the ground. Larken’s fists curled into a ball and he punched Zepp in the face. Zepp screamed in pain and tried to fight back, but Larken won out. He grabbed the baby, who was wailing as loudly as possible.
“Give him back!” Zepp managed to get out through his mangled jaw, the bones crushed from the impact of Larken’s fist. Hundreds of years of training had gotten Larken very strong.
Zepp jumped up and kicked Larken in the stomach. But Larken hadn’t felt anything, it was like a Zepp‘s fist had the power of a house fly. Zepp hadn’t trained in years, and had lost a lot of the strength he had had when he was younger.
“Ha! You think you can overpower me!” Larken sneered. “I will always be better than you, little brother!”
Larken then kicked Zepp in the head twice, knocking him unconscious. The baby continued to wail, as if it knew it had lost the only people in the world who would ever love him.
Larken picked up Zepp’s body and slumped him over his shoulder. Larken carefully held the baby in his arms, if anything happened to him Phaeton would surely kill him. Larken jumped back out the window and jumped into the open air outside. The sky seemed to open up, then sucked Larken into it.
***
The baby girl plunged down the twelve stories to the ground, but at the last moment transformed. She was a blue jay, flying high into the sky. Her wings were spread wide, a light blue with white tips. Snow fell all around her, cold on her feathers. She joyfully flew all around town, but finally got tired and landed softly on the ground below. And then she was a girl again, and had forgotten everything

Hi! I think I read this yesterday……. anyways, yes, it’s a cool idea/story. It sorta sounds like jumper, but not exactly. I warn you: there are lots of ideas close to this, so you’ll have to make this pretty unique if you want it published. Maybe morph one of your other ideas into this story to make it more interesting, or make the story in the 1860’s during the civil war, and the girl enters the army for the confederates or something. That idea is a little out there, but just to get you thinking.

hope this helped,
Christine

Here it is…any suggestions or criticism is welcome This is only the prologue.

Prologue

Nurse Jane walked into the hospital room to check on the twin brother and sister who had just been born. Jane was used to caring for twins, but what the doctor hadn’t told her was that the parents of the twins were teenagers, no older than 18. Jane felt sorry for the couple, they had no one there supporting them, no friends or parents.
“How are you doing?” Jane asked the man. She looked at the file the doctor had given her. The man’s name was Zepp Chain and the woman was named Airan Gloss.
“We’re doing fine,” Zepp said, smiling down at the mother, who lay in the bed. Zepp had the girl cradled in his arms and Airan held the boy. The boy had thick, dark brown hair and eyes, just like his father, Jane noted. The girl had little hair on her head, but it was definitely blond, unlike her mother who was a redhead. As Jane looked closely at the baby girl, she noticed she had mesmerizing purple eyes, which were mirror images of her mother‘s eyes.
“May I see him?” Jane asked. Airan handed her his son and she cradled him in her arms. She began making faces and talking in a high pitched voice, making her self look like a fool. The baby put his arms in the air and yawned. Jane noticed a black mark on the underside of the boy’s wrist. It was much like a tattoo and was in the shape of a sun. What an unusual birthmark, Jane thought.
Crash! Jane turned around. Shards of glass rained onto the ground from the broken window, a man had jumped in. He wore all black, and he closely resembled Zepp. He wore gloves and held a javelin in his hands. Jane tried to run out of the room, but the man threw his javelin and volts of electricity shot through her body and she fell to the ground almost immediately. The baby boy fell to the ground, completely unphased. Larken reached over and picked up the boy.
“Larken!” Zepp hissed.
“How are we today, little brother?” Larken said, picking up his javelin and pointing it at Airan. He pulled his arm back and threw the javelin. There was no need to aim, the weapon always hit it’s mark. It was a gift from Phaeton, his leader.
“Why are you here?” Zepp asked, tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Adymus’s orders. You know how he hates it when we disobey him,” Larken said evilly. Larken moved forward and punched Zepp in the face. Zepp staggered backwards and fell into a chair, the girl still in his arms. He quickly got up and ran to the window. Zepp threw his baby girl out the window, it was the only chance she had of survival, if Larken got a hold of her, he would kill her instantly.
Larken punched Zepp in the face again and then kicked him in the knee. Zepp fell to the ground. Larken kicked him in the head, and he became unconscious.
***
The baby girl fell to the ground, but at the last moment transformed. She was a blue jay, flying high into the sky. She flew all around town, but finally got tired and landed softly on the ground. And then she was a girl again, and had forgotten everything that had just happened.
A man wandered up the street, as he was buying a soda from the machine, he noticed the baby laying on the sidewalk. She was wrapped in a pink blanket and had dark purple eyes. Puzzled, he went over and picked the baby up. There was no one else around, it was three in the morning, after all. The man figured the baby had been abandoned and left to die.
The man, called Frank, new of an orphanage in the center of town. He took the girl there, hoping her life would be safe from then on. But, unfortunately, life will never be safe for a Shifter.

Thanks for reading
ooo it sounds good! i want to red more. lol. seriously, i loved it!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100310134717AAHAAk9 please

I’m an Aunt of four children two girls ages 15, 13, and twin boys age 10. Their mother (my sister) is addicted to Meth. The fathers have abandoned them as babies and have never been a part of their lives. Currently they have been living with their grandparents (my parents) but in a very cramped living situation. There is only one bed and the other three switch off sleeping on the floor. My parents are doing their best, but unfortunately it’s not an ideal situation. I have two younger sisters that still live at home with my parents so currently there are 8 people living under one roof. I know the children are stressed and have had a tendency to act out. I’ve been searching all over the web to try to find some sort of help for them. Most of what I’m finding is geared towards teens with addictions. Fortunately for them they have refrained from using but as my nieces get older I am fearful if they don’t get some counseling or additional support they will follow down their mothers same path. They need help before it’s too late!

if your parents are addicted you got it easy you could do what ever u wanted, u lucky mofo

The most difficult decision i ever had to make was whether or not to tell my parents about my twin brother Ryan’s drug problem. I vowed to him i wouldnt tell them, but that was when he was just casually doing it at parties, it had gotten out of control since then and he was becoming addicted extremely fast. Me and him had always been close as we were twins, and he hated me for telling them. I began to hate myself too because i knew i let him down. He ended up getting the help he needed with his family there to support him. (there is 5 siblings so a lot of support). In the end he realized i made the decision because i loved him and didnt want anything to happen to him, but i always wonder if i made the right decision because i let down the one person i knew i could trust and it was the same thing for him with me and i blew it.
In case you were wondering Ryan is almost complete with his senior year of high school(this happened January of 2008, so he missed his senior year but he was already going to get held back as he was skipping school and failing his classes) and will be attending college in the Fall.

If you’re wondering why my parents never knew, they suspected it and always asked me and i always said he didnt do drugs because i was keeping my promise. I ended up telling them after many times of them asking because i couldnt lie to them anymore.

You definetly did the right thing… He’s just mad for getting in trouble. Inside, he most likely feels glad, because your parents helped stop it before it REALLY messed up his life. You might have even saved his life! A lot of things can get out of control really fast with drugs. Keep yourself healthy and NEVER use them!

Ok I am freaking out. My ex and I have been in and out of court for years for our 2 children. At one point I owed him money and they put an offset on my taxes, a lien on my car, and garnished my wages. The judge ordered that it stop because while I did owe him for a short period, my kids live with me and he pays nothing. We go back to court 2/17/10 because he owes me over 5000.00 for last year alone. My state return is on hold and my federal went to pay back TANF that he collected when my kids were with him and he lost his job, even though the attorneys have determined that it is his job to pay this since he owes me so much and was collecting support from my paychecks for 15mths because the IV-D people wouldn’t answer the calls from me or my attorney to see why they had not enforced the court order to stop all of this. I got the lien removed in June, 2009, the wage garnishment they finally took care of in September, 2009 but they obviously forgot to inform the IRS because they just took every cent of my return. I can not survive without this money…I am raising our kids with no help from him, he doesn’t even see them anymore; I am a single parent and have twins that are younger than the 2 I have with him (their father pays but he doesn’t make much so its like 50 a week); I am in school full time and just lost my job 3weeks ago because I could no longer afford the child care. Oh btw the ex I am referring to works for the Railroad and makes approx 4000.00 a month… He has shown that he could care less what the court or the lawyers say as he never returned a penny of the support he collected when he didn’t have them, and I am terrified that he will spend the money before anyone opens on Monday and then they will say "oops, our mistake" and order him to pay restitution at 15.00 per week on top of his current support (which he never paid or pays so I have to wait till March to start receiving it thru the wage garnishment. I have never heard of so many court people being involved in a case and then making so many mistakes. My child support modification was pushed back because the IV-D office found 5 or more mail tubs of mail in their basement from March-April of 2009 unopened and made everyone refile like nothing ever happened. I lost money there, lost money when he kept the cs payments he wasn’t supposed to, lost when the judge told him he better pay the support to the clerk until the garnishment took effect, and now they took this. My car is broken, my bills are due, my kids need things and I am a step away from having a breakdown. There should be someone I can call or fax the court order to so that they can reverse the transaction but every number I called is a recording and no one is open….Anyone who has a law degree or a real legal know how PLEASE HELP ME!! Its not fair that they can mess up my life like this and I am expected to … "I don’t even know what they could possibly expect me to do"….Oh and of course, I live in indiana…..
Ok thank you so much…I did get that number and left a message and will definitely call them again Monday (and again and again till they answer and help me…lol) I was so freaked out about them saying it was already direct deposited and figured it meant to him….whew….THANKS SO MUCH!!!
Ok thank you so much…I did get that number and left a message and will definitely call them again Monday (and again and again till they answer and help me…lol) I was so freaked out about them saying it was already direct deposited and figured it meant to him….whew….THANKS SO MUCH!!!

I understand your pain I went through a nasty divorce that lasted for 2 years over three kids and an ex who doesn’t make as much as I do and wanted me to pay child support and have the kids in his full custody and on and on and on. Believe me there is a light at the end of this long dark tunnel, be prepared when you go to court and DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT every single thing that happens with dates/times etc. that stands up in a court more than anything thats going to come out of anyones mouth keep a journal and document every single thing that occurs concerning your ex. As far as your tax refund goes, its the department of child support services for your state that has intercepted your refund, you need to let the judge know at your next court date so that he can order them to give it back to you or order your ex to pay it back if he received it. If he is not paying his child support that needs to be documented and submitted to the child support dept as well yes it takes time for them to enforce the order on his employer but it will happen and then if he doesn’t pay welcome to arrears, and he will pay either through his drivers license being suspended or his tax refund next year. I hope everything works out and if you have an attorney make sure you are noting this all to submit to him/her. Good luck

Crib bedding is the centerpiece of a well-appointed nursery, as more experienced parents and decorators will surely agree. The bedding you choose for your baby boy will certainly help him to find serenity and well-being as he begins life. Before choosing a pattern or color for their baby bedding, it is most important that parents familiarize themselves with the characteristics of safe crib bedding.

Crib linens should fit conventional measurements for cribs and tot beds to ensure that your sleepyhead has a safe place to rest. Stores with integrity now sell bedding with the right measurements, but you’d still be wise to double check this before you buy anything from a particular merchant.

Wise parents will avoid hypoallergenic materials by carefully considering these concerns when reviewing bedding products. A shopper who’s done his or her research knows never to choose an overly puffy quilt, as this can suffocate a helpless infant.

The parents are ready to start thinking after having all the information, about the color or  theme which they feel would be best for their son’s boy crib bedding. Parents inclined to search the internet will be especially amazed by the available variety of styles. To speed up the process and limit the playing field, parents should make a list of all the ideas and themes that they have been seriously considering.

Those parents who have already taken a final decision to decorate their home in a traditional manner would find themselves in no time drawn towards the large and very impressive variety of classic crib bedding. Classic styles in infant bedding have a continued popular appeal even today. Whether it be classic looks you’re shopping for, our wide collection of boys clothing is sure to offer something for everyone.

Linens that are traditional often contain soft hues and designs that make the baby’s room feel very serene. Striped fabrics (perhaps ones containing a boy-appropriate blend of blue and white) may seem particularly appealing for their son’s new haven. A white linen set is a beautiful choice that will give your baby boy’s room a classic but airy feel that anyone who enters the nursery will be enchanted by.

When you’re really trying to keep expenses down, it’s that much more difficult to get ready for your baby’s arrival. If you’ve done your homework regarding nursery decoration, you’ll know that the costs can pile up even before you decorate most of the room.

Crib set can now be purchased in many colors and patterns, and many of these have exorbitant price tags that remove them from consideration. These linens are usually sold as a part of the large multi-item sets thus ensuring a fully dressed nursery and the good news is that these linens come within the budget of the parents.

Pink baby girl bedding options are lovely and will appeal to tastes that range from conventional to a bit wild. You an sometimes purchase packages of baby decor that include all the extra pieces, rather than trying to piece together a design scheme. In most cases shoppers only get the essential crib linens, and then have the option to purchase additional coordinated accessories online.

In these tough economic times, bedding sets have seen an explosion in growth due to their reasonable prices. The best part is that the festive sheets and blankets that are offered in these collections are almost all hypoallergenic and free of chemicals. These are the safest linens for your baby girl, as they conform to standard crib and toddler bed dimensions.

Knowing that a bedding set purchase will allow you to make a lovely, welcoming room for you new daughter, it is time to select the perfect ensemble. Lots of new moms and dads are drawn to monochromatic color schemes. Ensembles of baby linens in one color scheme rely on beautiful details and textures to foster the serenity of the nursery.

The all pink color of the room for a girl has been popular for a generation and even today the same is favorite color but there are other options also available. Ivory crib bedding like other colors create a calm and peaceful environment for a baby. Snowy white linens that are perfect for newborn daughters often come with eyelet, lace, embroidery, or quilted patterns so as to create a dazzling nursery for the little bundle of joy and those who come to see her.

I am from a family of 4 (parents + my brother and I) and my husband is from a family of 6 (parents, husband + 3 sisters). My brother has 2 kids, a boy and a girl. We had our boy and a girl and everyone thought that we would be done. Then we went for our third. Three years later we unexpectedly became pregnant with twins and this is just incomprehensible to our families. They don’t understand why we would want 5 kids, and although we didn’t exactly plan it, we don’t see anything wrong with it. We have the money, the jobs, and the love to support a family of 7.
I was wondering if anyone else can relate.

I can certainly relate, and it’s no one else’s business how many kids you and your husband have together. They don’t have to "understand" it if they don’t pay your bills!

We are in the process of adopting a sibling group of 5 children. Plus, we have one bio-daughter already. So our house as you can imagine is BUSY and sometimes chaotic. Our oldest son is 6, the rest of them go all the way down to 1 (no twins). We’ve had them for almost a year already, but we are trying to find a parenting class or support group of how to manage a large sibling group so the house looks a little more calm and less chaotic. I’ve read many parenting books and adoption books, but any suggestions on how to handle a large family would be greatly appreciated.

We need more of a class/ seminar/workshop help than personal advice. Kids are all very attached and already consider our family their own family.
Thank you

I have 5 biological children, and I have managed to hold down the fort as a married sahm. Its hard, but it can be done, and it can be done with very little chaos if you organize and keep yourself calm. I don’t have too many suggestions that I can actually list, but I manage to feed us on less than $200 bucks every 2 weeks, and I manage to keep everyone alive, healthy, and mostly happy. If you had any specific questions, I could answer those. I am not a stuffy soccer mom, but I manage to be a pretty rockin’ mom.

ETA: I have yet to find a book or any organized advice (seminar, etc…) that covers practical applyable advice that was managable for my family.

Unlawful request by state of IL to have Non Custodial Parent pay child support while under social security disability in WI, has 2 dependent twins in another relationship in WI under paternity and while under poverty level financially. Is this lawful? The children were stolen from the father when the children were 3 years of age. Is this a case of abduction? The son age 16 has a severe stuttering problem that seems like a course of mental health behavior problems overlooked by the state of IL child support human services dept., in which this is an infringement between emotional/mental behavior in the custodial household. Is this abuse; emotional, mental?

If the request by Illinois should be challenged, then challenge it. Consult your attorney and fight back.

Or, if it is not that important, avoid speaking with your lawyer. Just get sympathy in an online community.